勇闯快活岛 (1994) 5.9

Sheila Kingston: No matter what your sexual preference, true love is always the ultimate fantasy. Elliot Slater: I always have trouble saying your name Martin because Australians have difficulty with the American 'R". It would be a lot easier if your name was Bob. Dr. Martin Halifax: You've achieved a great deal of success in your creative and artistic field. You've traveled a great deal. You have influential friends. You've dated a bevy of bright and beautiful woman. Yet, with all this, you never had a lasting relationship. Fred Lavery: Good morning and welcome to L.A.'s premium triple X club: The Feather. When the sun comes up, the bras come down. It is dark and time for our sunrise special. Cock-a-doodle-doo! Sheila Kingston: Our back-up finally arrived. Late. Must have been a line up at Dunkin Donuts. We got the diamonds, the bad guys got away. All we know, one of them had a bad cold. Fred Lavery: They have a Club Med for sex orgies? Fred Lavery: An alternative lifestyle. DO you know what that is? That's just a phrase deviants use to cover up their sex lives. Island worker: How can I fulfill your fantasy? Sheila Kingston: Go paint my house! Sheila Kingston: We're the only two people on this island without handcuffs. Sheila Kingston: Why are we pretending your bag isn't buzzing? You bought a vibrator. Det. Anderson: It's a place for S&M, B&D, and D&S. Sheila Kingston: M&M? Fred Lavery: Ok, well, I guess I'm off to your little S&M fantasy island, where the little guy runs around yelling, "The pain! The pain!" Sheila Kingston: How do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix? What, do you wake up one day and go, "Hey, I feel like being bossy"? Sheila Kingston: A guy takes off his pants to *leave* my room. Hm. Fred Lavery: Read her her rights and make sure she understands them. Sheila Kingston: [mocking Nina's accent] You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and vill be used against you... Fred Lavery: Why are you busting our chops like this?

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Hotel manager

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: Well, I'll tell you. I hate cops an awful lot. Sheila Kingston: [under her breath] I'm gonna kill him. Fred Lavery: And it doesn't matter that this is a life-and-death issue? Hotel manager: Nope. Fred Lavery: Well, do you want us to bribe you with money? Hotel manager: Nope. Sheila Kingston: You wanna see me naked? Hotel manager: Now that's an idea! Sheila Kingston: Listen, I've had my share of bad times with men, okay? Some are a**holes, Elliot is not. If we don't cultivate the good ones, there aren't going to be any. Sheila Kingston: Maybe if you spiced up your sex life a little you wouldn't be divorced. Fred Lavery: What do you mean? I spiced it up plenty. Many's the time I let the wife get on top. All-tied-up shop clerk: You know a lot of people feel a little nervous about this whole submissive/dominant thing at first, but, you know, really the submissive person is always in control. All you have to do is give your partner a little control word, like "yellow." Sheila Kingston: Yellow.... Y'ello! Fred! Sheila Kingston: You took off your clothes in his office? I could never do that, you know. Even at home, I take off my clothes in the bathroom and then I jump into bed real quick... which is kinda wierd because I live alone. Tommy Miller: May I do my specialty? Sheila Kingston: Ah, no, I don't really feel like having my toes sucked right now. Lisa Emerson: I can be fun. I just get paid to be mean. Elliot Slater: I just thought it would be great to be alone in a traditional southern bedroom with... Lisa Emerson: ...no equipment. Lisa Emerson: Babies *and* bondage, I could do both? Elliot Slater: Yeah, I'd love to say, "My wife is a dominatrix." Lisa Emerson: I can just see myself at the kids' school on career day. Sheila Kingston: I'll catch you later, I gotta get a bikini wax. Fred Lavery: Ugh! Just stop telling me about that disgusting female stuff. No wonder you were never married. Sheila Kingston: I have PMS too, do you know that? Fred Lavery: Ay! Sheila Kingston: Sometimes I bloat... Fred Lavery: Nnnn! Sheila Kingston: weight gain... Fred Lavery: Hey! Sheila Kingston: temporary water build-up... Fred Lavery: Aah! Sheila Kingston: I hate to tell you this Fred, I clot...

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Fred Lavery