[Daniel, angry and drunk, throws a bowling ball out a window]
Robin:
You could have killed someone!
Daniel McTeague:
The way I bowl?
[to Uncle Joe's British "nanny," Molly]
Frank:
I didn't like the Beatles and I don't like you!
Glen:
We were all decent people before Uncle Joe sunk his hooks into us. Except for Frank. He was always a son of a bitch.
[opening the door to find Danny nude]
Laura:
Daniel McTeague?
Daniel McTeague:
No shit! That's my name too.
Laura:
No, I'm a private investigator.
Daniel McTeague:
Really? Can you help me find my pants?
Hotel Clerk:
Most of these rooms have old men with young girls, this is Washington.
Frank:
Okay, Joe. Bare knuckles, toe to toe. We've spent 20 years eating your shit and saying, "Mmm, delicious! What a cook!" - no more!
Angry Husband:
You made my life a living hell!
Angry Wife:
Kiss my ass!
Angry Husband:
That could take all night!
Daniel McTeague:
You say one more word and I'll kick your ass so high that you'll have to take off your shirt to shit!
Frank:
What's the matter with you? Are you retarded?
Dennis:
Not according to the tests.
Uncle Joe:
So you're interested in money, huh?
Joe:
Made ten bucks just coming here. I get another twenty if i kiss you. I'm thinking about it.
Bartlett:
I'm sure this may come as a shock.
Frank:
No, shitting a sailboat is a shock, this is a fucking catastrophe!
Uncle Joe:
I'm richer than shit.
Uncle Joe:
You can go dance the hully gully for all I care!
Daniel McTeague:
You keep your breasts off his eyebrows.
Frank:
Oh, my God, I feel so horrible, I could cut out my tongue.
Glen:
Here's a knife.
Glen:
She's going to get everything. That's the way these old guys are. Tough as nails, biggest son of a bitch in the world, she touches his shriveled-up little noodle, and his brains turn to frozen yogurt. She'll marry him, screw him six feet into the ground and then get everything!
Nora McTeague:
Stop it! Don't you see what's happening here?
Tina:
Yeah, you're out of scotch.
Frank:
Oh, Tina, go lie down.
Robin:
He see复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
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m nervous to you?
Wayne:
Couldn't pull a pin out of his ass with a tractor.
Daniel McTeague:
Oh, great. Now I'm impotent.
Robin:
We just kissed for two seconds!
Daniel McTeague:
It never takes me this long, usually we're showering by now!
Uncle Joe:
Where are my presents? I like presents, especially from people who love me.
Joe:
And who would that be?
Molly Richardson:
Monday nights I go to this newsstand to get the new TV Guide for Joe. He likes to get it as early as possible so he can circle everything he wants to watch.
Frank:
Does he circle your ass?
Molly Richardson:
You think I'm bonking the old gent, don't you?
Frank:
Yeah, we do.
Molly Richardson:
Let me tell you something, handsome. If I were having sex with your Uncle Joe, he'd be dead by now.
[to Frank]
Molly Richardson:
I'm no more a nurse than you are a human being.
Frank:
Look at this. Her tongue is practically in his wallet.
Robin:
Danny, I love you and I believe in you. But isn't everything you're telling me a big crock of bubbling shit?
Daniel McTeague:
I had no idea just how sick you guys were.
Frank:
Come spend a day with us.
Daniel McTeague:
I'd rather shove this club up my ass.
Glen:
I'll do it for you.
Frank:
I'm insane? For five years I begged you, "Let's put him in a home!" No, you didn't want to because you didn't have the balls! None of you have any balls!
Hotel Clerk:
[pointing to his name tag, as he pulls an annoyed look] Excuse me - does this say 'Moron'?
Patti:
Yes, we have girls. We're not so cold-blooded enough to put Ed's sperm in a centrifuge and spin 'em around to separate the X's from the Y's.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
