PCU (1994) 6.0

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Womynist #2

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: Stop the penis party! Droz: Are we having a party tonight or what? Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead. Droz: Wait a minute... no beer? Well, where the hell's Gutter? Katy: Probably in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose. [cue to Gutter in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose] Droz: These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it for about a week. Katy: What about Naugahyde Windpipe? Cecilia: Too metal. Raji: Oedipus and the Mama's Boys. Cecilia: Too college radio. Deeje: My Johnson Is 12 Inches Long. Cecilia: Interesting, but I don't think it's a band name. Bantam: America's greatest president. Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up. Bantam: America's greatest president. Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?" Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting. Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?" Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ. Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko. Droz: What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy. Tom: What's he doin? Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV. Tom: That's his thesis? Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit. [stealing a car, finds The Club, still in the package with the words: Police say "Use it"] Droz: Well, that's good thinking. Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: Tonight, at the Pit, "Everyone Gets Laid." Droz: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it. Droz: All right right, whaddya need? Bottle rockets, dental dams, Redi Wips, term papers? Old Woman: Excuse me, but can you blow me where the pampers is? Gutter: What? Old Woman: Can you blow me where the pampers is? Gutter: What? Old Woman:

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Can you *show* me where the *campus* is?

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