Lana Ravine: You speak Yiddish? Man in park: No, but I can read the subtitles. Lola Cain: What are you gonna do? Blow me away? Lola Cain: He left me. He left me because she looked more like me than I did. Lola Cain: You really are incredibly stupid, aren't you? I like that in a man. Judge Skanky: [leaving a playground] I love recess. [Ned reads a business card left on Laura's desk. The card smokes] Ned Ravine: Meet me at Le Hot Club. No air conditioning - and proud of it! 7:30. Lola. 5810 Fountain Avenue, Los Angeles, California 90028. 213-555-5555. Ned Ravine: [thinks] Hmmmm. Ned Ravine: I forgot my keys. Lola Cain: That's not why you came back! Ned Ravine: [puzzled] ... Yes it is. Lola Cain: No... You came back for *this*! [jumps on Ned Ravine, throwing him to the floor and ripping his pants off] Ned Ravine: Oh, this is so different! Ned Ravine: [to Lola Cain] You stay away from my wife, my life, my home, and my skunk! Max Shady: I'm gonna put these two fingers in his eyes, this finger in his mouth, and use his head for a friggin' bowling ball! Prison Reporter: Are you a good bowler Mr. Shady? Prison Reporter: How would you handle a 7-10 split? Frank Kelbo: [after having been shown Lana's elaborate plan to kill Ned] You've been thinking about this for a long time, haven't you, baby? Lana Ravine: No... It just came to me. Ned Ravine: [turns bathtub tap on and off and notices that background music responds to the same action] ... I need an aspirin. [questioning his own wife on the witness stand] Ned Ravine: Now, Mrs. Ravine... may I call you Lana? Lana Ravine: Oh, please, call me Angel Tits. Lana's Prosecutor: I object! Judge Skanky: Sustained. Counselor, you will address Angel Tits as Mrs. Ravine. Laura Lincolnberry: [Laura is having a flashback] No! N
o! No! [she is splashed by a gallon of water] Ned Ravine: Laura! Snap out of it! [he stands holding a tiny dixie cup] Lola Cain: You're the first man who has lasted that long on that barstool. Ned Ravine: I'm flattered. Lola Cain: Well, don't. It's broken. [the stool collapses] Ned Ravine: Put the can back in American! The Jew back in jurisprudence! The con back in constitution! And the dumb back in freedom! Prison Reporter: Mr. Ravine, how does it feel to have slept with a murderess? Ned Ravine: It's better than sleeping with a Ninja Turtle. Judge Skanky: How does the jury find the defendant on the count of murder? Judge Ben Arugula: Not guilty. Judge Skanky: On the count of conspiracy? Judge Ben Arugula: Not guilty. Judge Skanky: On the Count of Monte Cristo? Judge Ben Arugula: Not guilty.