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Charlie:
When your God tells you to beat the shit out of somebody, you do it. That's when religion is all about!
Labia:
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6e
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Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger its than me. He looks like a condom full of walnuts.
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ffb
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Samson:
What would I want with a beautiful young thing when I've got you, eh?
Delilah:
You promised me you wouldn't fight anymore after that man was killed.
The chickens:
"Cluck, cluck, cluck; Ah, *uck this for a joke".
Machismo:
[to Ursys] I'll fight you on one condition... that you lower your nipples.
Hercules:
[bursts into song] Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree...
Murial:
[Shocked] What is that man doing with his hand on my Labia!
Stretch:
[as Zeus] Your actual purpose is not as you believe to marry Labia, but to reveal your true homosexuality.
Hercules:
[confused] Homosexual?
Barmaid:
[strokes her husbands hair] Ooh, your dandruffs getting worse, innit?
Barman:
Fuck off!
Barmaid:
[walks away] Fair enough.
Samson:
[picks up saddle but can't lift it as its too heavy] Fuck...
[tries again]
Samson:
Bloody hell...
[tries again then feels his hair]
Samson:
Hang on a sec... my hair feels shorter! Awww, Del!
Barmaid:
I know this might be an in opportune moment, but what about the bill?
Ursys:
OOOOOOh, bill?
[getting angry]
Ursys:
You mean you want me to pay for all this?
Barmaid:
[Apologetically] Forget i said anything, forget it!
Ursys:
I thought you were doing this because you liked me!
Labia:
[to Hercules] Well I suppose I better introduce you to me mum.
Murial:
[On seeing Labia & Hercules approach] Darling, you haven't been hanging around the gymnasium again have you?
Labia:
Mum, who do you think is the dumbest man in the world?
Murial:
Why Hercules of course!
Labia:
Well say hello!
Charlie:
[Hercules starts walking away] Oi, oi! I'm talking to you, you rude bugger!
Murial:
[Watches Fanny walk away] Is there something you want to tell me?
Charlie:
What? About Fanny? We're just good friends...
Murial:
She's wearing your underpants.
Charlie:
[Avoids her eyes and starts picking at food] Well, we're obviously very good friends ain't we...
[Trails off]
Stretch:
[to Labia and Testiculi] I only have sex if someone puts me up to it!
Labia:
[Looks at Testiculi after having made love with him] Was it as good for you as it was for me?
Testiculi:
[Considers] Well... I didn't expect the earth to move... but I at least expected you to.
Labia:
[Gushes] Your so romantic...
[Sucking, kissing noises as they snog]
Fanny:
[Purple smoke rises from a potion] Whoops, that Ribena's getting a bit hot.
Sprocket:
You couldn't organize a fart at a curry-eating contest!
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