Sean Armstrong: I hate kids! Alex Mason, Jr.: [Armstrong has just fallen into a swimming pool of red dye] Wow! now all he needs is a pitch-fork and a pointy tail. Sean Armstrong: That is it! Sean Armstrong: [Corinne almost hacks off Sean's hand for touching her pie] Nice aim. Corinne: What do you mean nice? I was aiming for your wrist, what are you doing in my kitchen? Sean Armstrong: I'm Sean Armstrong, the bodyguard. Corinne: Mr. Nanny! Sean Armstrong: [Corrine's writing Sean's name on a list of nannies] What're you doing? Corinne: This place is like the roach motel, the nannies check in... Sean Armstrong: But they don't check out, yeah... that's not so many names. Corinne: Kuh! [presses a button, causing the list to drop down several sheets] Sean Armstrong: Oh... I can handle myself. [walks into a door] Corinne: I hope your blue cross is paid up! Corinne: [Burt's knocking on the door] Coming, I'm coming, [knocking continues] Corinne: I said I'm coming! [swings the door open] Burt Wilson: Mama! Corinne: How would you like that cane up your nose? Sean Armstrong: Show some respect, Burt saved my life. Burt Wilson: Oh yeah, I took a bullet for this guy, nicked an artery, you should've seen the blood pumping out, ka-bloom, ka-bloom, ka-bloom, nearly hit the ceiling. Kate Mason: Eeeew! Alex Mason, Jr.: Cool! Sean Armstrong: [drives up near the kids' school] This is my old school, you mean to tell me you guys go to public school? Alex Mason, Jr.: Ooooooohhh he can read. Our dad did think it was a great place... but when he finds out you used to go here... [Sean drives up to the school] Alex Mason, Jr.: Hey what're you doing? It's hard enough fitting in without everyone knowing we have a Rolls Royce. Sean Armstrong: What're you talking about? Kate Mason: Alex has no friends. Sean Armstrong: Like I'm so surprised. Thanatos: I ordered you to throw that match, cost me money, big money! Burt Wilson: Oh yeah? Bigger than your hair? Sean Armstrong: We don't throw matches. Burt Wilson: Yeah, now if that fur ball on top of your head was soaked in gasoline we'd throw matches, lit ones. [laughs] Sean Armstrong:
Must've hit him pretty hard, he landed head first in the swimming pool of the hotel next door.
Alex Mason, Jr.: Must've made a killer splash! Sean Armstrong: Na, the pool was empty, it would've killed him, but his hair cushioned the fall. Burt Wilson: Of course they couldn't scrape up all of his brain goo but he got a nice metal plate in the slammer. Thanatos: [swinging an axe] I'll cut you down to size! Sean Armstrong: If you're getting ready for a fight, you just need attitude, not muscles. Alex Mason, Jr.: That's easy for you to say when you're the size of a redwood. Sean Armstrong: I was a big kid, I still got whooped every day. My old man never taught me to take care of myself, he never taught me nothing. Alex Mason, Jr.: So how'd you get them to stop beating on you? Sean Armstrong: I graduated. Alex Mason, Jr.: Oh. Sean Armstrong: Then this little guy Burt taught me some attitude. Sean Armstrong: You survived. Corinne: I'm tough, I raised my 4 kids by myself.