: Marcus, score us some nacho chips and some radical salsa. Marcus: Dude! Fester: None of that green stuff. Marcus: Radical! Hammer: Dude! Fester: [aiming gun at clerk] Open up the cash register. That's right, dude, us three bone heads are sticking you up. Open up that register before I have to get nasty. [Pager goes off] Fester: Excuse me, sir, could I please use your telephone? [Grandpa is giving the boys names] Tum Tum: Can I be Monster Destroyer? Or how about Super Killer? Colt: How about Super Dork? Fester: Hey dude, what time does school get out? Hammer: I don't know. I never stayed to the end. Fester: This kidnapping is so much better than armed robbery. Hammer: Yeah I never got a pizza on a robbery. Fester: Okay, none of you little dudes move until those two dudes get back! Rocky: We should run. Tum Tum: We should hide. Colt: We should kick their butts! Colt: I'm Colt because I'm fast, he's Rocky because he's solid and he's Tum-Tum because he'll eat anything. Tum Tum: I won't eat dog poop. Fester: Okay, Marcia Brady or Laurie Partridge? Hammer: Rather do Laurie. Fester: Cool. Okay, Cheryl Ladd or Farrah Fawcett? Hammer: Tanya Roberts, dude. Fester: Alright. Operation: Kick Butt is about to commence. Synchronize watches. Hammer: What time is it? Fester: I dunno, anybody got a watch? Fester: Okay little dude, we know you're in here somewhere. We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna kidnap you. Fester: I say we kill those little boogers! Hammer: But like, I thought we wanted them alive. Fester: I want *us* alive, dude! Grandpa: Remember, never fight unless you're sure you can win. Hugo Snyder: God, I love being a bad guy. Grandpa: I hate pizza. Fester: Seems that providence has shined her light upon us boys. It's pizza time.