Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful (1992)

Bennie: There was just something in the air tonight! Medusa: Lava?

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Medusa

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: It's lonely at the top. When I was little, I wrote a poem about it. It went: "The prettiest girl in the mirror is me, but will I still be pretty when there's no one there to see?... me? I wish upon a lucky star to put a happy face on my pain, because it hurts so much to be so cold and so alone... in the... rain." Medusa: My grandmother used to say "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" But you can't make lemonade out of a dead dog, no matter how hard you try. Bobo: I want you to star in "Heidi". Medusa: You mean like Shirley Temple "Heidi"? Bobo: No, no. In my Heidi, see, she's all grown up. She's a fully grown woman discovering her sexuality, and she's joined the Neo-Nazi regime... Medusa: What is this title? Do the rich thing? Bobo: [in heavy German accent] No. Do the "REICH" thing. Medusa: Do you know how almost fired you are? Medusa: You don't understand. If I use a smaller penis it would be compromising my artistic integrity. Medusa: There's the phone booth where I lost my virginity! "Memories/of the phone booths on my block." Hah-hah! There's the doughnut shop where I used to work. The owner always used to put one on his finger and wiggles his eyebrows at me. He was so twisted. Too many cruellers! Medusa: Made me a star! Medusa: What do you mean you're not coming on tour with me? I thought with the amount I was paying you I was your only patient! Come on, you have to come with me! You said I was "Borderline." I even wrote a song about it! Medusa: C'mon, suck my toes in my documentary. Nobody's done that yet! Shane Pencil: No way... Medusa: Come on. I did that crappy movie you made me do, "Tokyo Trauma." You owe me! Medusa: Wink Martindale wants to do me in a Motel Seven! Bobcat Goldthwait: Hey! I saw you do that, you stuck your hand down your throat and went "Bleh" when I said your show was nice! Medusa: Oh no, no, no! I'm just having a problem with my Uvula! Bobcat Goldthwait: Your Uvula? Hey, listen, that dirty talk may work in your songs and interviews, but I'm a family man. I could've gone to Monster Trucks tonight. Medusa: Darkness I do dread/It's hard to party when you're dead. Bobo: Medusa, your show was amazing tonight. You are SO sexy! Medusa: Duh. [after accidentally being electrocuted by onstage pyrotechnics] Medusa: Ow, even my armpit hairs are burned! Bennie: Do you know something, though? You were fabulous tonight.

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Taffy