Diane Farrow: There was this experiment where an electrode was planted in the pleasure center of a monkey's brain. When the monkey hit a button, it sent a signal to the electrode, in effect, exciting the monkey sexually. Woman at luncheon: You're kidding. Diane Farrow: No. Can you guess what happened? Woman at luncheon: Was it a male monkey? Diane Farrow: Yes. Woman at luncheon: He slammed the button till he died. Diane Farrow: Oh, so you know this experiment? Woman at luncheon: I know men, honey. Paul Matthews: About once a month my friends and I get together and do something different for fun. Sometimes we go bowling or miniature golf or a movie or something. One night we went down to a gypsy palm reader at 34th and Vine. Paul Matthews: You look familiar. Prince Geoffrey: Yeah, I'm the Prince of England. Diane Farrow: Was there a second date that I'm not aware of? Diane Farrow: You know, all my life, I've felt ugly, and now I have the worlds most desireable man telling me that I am beautiful. I have the Prince of England at home pining for me. I mean, Paul, this is like a dream come true. i could be a princess. Enrico Pazzoli: Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? Diane Farrow: No. No one in their right mind. Prince Geoffrey: You're not speaking. You notice Diane isn't speaking? [last lines] Madame Ruth: Ahh, that's nice. Paul Matthews: Except for the fact she had kind of a boyfriend, Diane was exactly my type. Paul Matthews: Well, I'd like to tell you that 5 minutes after I kissed Diane she came running out into my arms and that we fell in love forever, but that's not what happened. Paul Matthews: It took six minutes. Paul Matthews: How do you synthesize a methylated alkaloid? Blonde at Bar: [short pause] I don't know. Paul Matthews: Too bad.