advertisement Max: What could be more fun than fishing with you dad? PJ: Eating glass! Do you have any idea what fishing with him is like? Not to mention when I turn green and toss three meals a day. Peg: Pete, this is the LOWEST you've ever stooped! Goofy: You're not bein' fair. Pete: Thanks, Goof. Goofy: Petey's stooped much lower than this! PJ: How can my dad's fish finder help us find gold? Max: We set it for GOLDfish, Einstein. [Max is watching a music video with the volume turned way up] Goofy: That music sure is loud! Turn it down! Max: WHAT? It doesn't go any louder! [Max and PJ are admiring Pete's skateboard ramp] Max: Think how much speed we could get with a ramp like that! Then we'd... PJ: Kill ourselves? Pete: I'll give everything back! The tickets, the surfboard, my hula skirt! [pause] Pete: Well, maybe not my hula skirt. [Pete is on TV dressed as Goofy] Goofy: Hey! That's me! Peg: No, it's not! I'd know that jelly roll anywhere. Peg: I wouldn't luau with you if my hula hips depended on it! Max: DAD! PJ says Pete's a better fisherman than you! Pete: What do you mean lettin' your kid hit my kid just for tellin' the truth? Pete: [yelling] PJ! PJ: You bellowed, Dad? [Pete has caught the boys with his video camera] Pete: You boys have some serious grovelin' to do! PJ: [nervously] D-don't kill us, Dad. We swiped it for a good cause. [Pete sees his living room covered in paint] Pete: What have you done? Uncle Angelo Goof: Created a masterpiece, no? Pete: [yelling] NOOO! [Peg sees Max and Goofy unloading their car] Peg: What happened? I thought you were on your way to your family reunion. Max: We're gonna miss the reunion. Car broke down. Took our plane fare to fix it. Mr. Pete said we had an upset battery. Peg: Loaded repair bill's more like it. That tub of butter is not gonna get away with this. Max: Dad, how long is "not long"? Goofy: Just hang on to your cowlick. [Goofy tries to write Pete a sorry letter] Goofy: How many R's are there in Pete? Hmm. I'll just write it sloppy so the spelling don't show. Goofy: The windows are so clean you can hardly see through them. [Pete has mis-calculated his property profile] Pete: The Goof's just jealous on a count of it, because half his house belongs to me. Peg: Oh yes, Petey. I managed to find a copy of the property profile. You must have read it upside down, Snu-comes. Because we don't own half of Goofy's house. [yells into his face] Peg: HE OWNS HALF OF OURS! Pete: [shocked in disbelief] The Goof owns half our house? Peg: But all is not lost. You've set a fine example for the children on how to settle disputes in a mature and grown-up way. Pete: Isn't it amazing how much flour looks like cement. [dough that Pete tries cooking is starting to extremely inflate] Peg: Oh, cherry-pick, how much cheese did you put in that dough? Pete: Just a pint. It says right here. [looks on a box] Pete: Oh, I guess that only says a "pinch." Pete: [disappointedly looking at his wrecked Swiss Army hedge-clipper, which he accidentally hits with his car] Ah, it's gonna cost me a fortune to replace. Pete: No. It's gonna cost the Goof a fortune. He'll think he did it, and buy me a new one. [goes over to the back of Goofy's truck on his drive-way, and puts it under his back tyre] Pete: Sometimes, I'm so rotten I give me goose bumps. Pete: Oh, you gotta help me, Peg! Please! You gotta help me! You gotta help me! Please, please, please, don't make me beg. Peg: You are begging. Pete: Well, then, don't make me beg anymore than I half to. Pistol Pete: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mr. Goof and Daddy are playing in the garbage can. Peg: [to Pete and Goofy] Well, isn't this a sight. Two grown men rolling around in the trash. Pistol Pete: [goes over to smell Pete getting out of the container, and plugs her nose] Ew! you smell bad, Daddy. Pete: For the contest. [catches his breath in embarrassment for letting the cat out of the bag] Peg: *Contest*? What contest? Pete: "The Mr. Spoonerville Society Help Helper's Contest." Peg: [she starts laughing at him in disbelief] You? Pete? [she drops onto the bed, and laughs hysterically] Peg: Help, helper? [she laughs hard a little more, then suddenly stops] Peg: Don't make me laugh. [cooking dough has exploded all over Pete in front of Peg] Pete: Whatever you were thinking of saying, don't say it. [Pete has got a nose protector on, and is paranoically hiding in his office, thinking that someone is out to get him] Pete: Huh! No silly letter is going to spoof me. I've got nerves of steal. Why, I could eat brussels sprouts without even breaking. [suddenly, the phone rings, and he shrieks in fear, and crushes it to pieces with a bat] Pete: Probably a wrong number anyway. Pete: What's going on? Peg: Just a little party. Pete: [steaming up] At 2am o'clock in the morning? [doorbell rings again] Peg: [pushes him towards the door] Get that, will you, hon? Pete: [to a Goof relative] Stop! You've done enough damage! Peg: Shh! Pete. That's no way to treat our guests. Pete: Guests? [protesting tone] Pete: They are not staying here! Peg: Oh, just until the reunion. Pete: [freaking out] What? Peg: If you're not going to help, Peter, please stay out of the way. Pete: [suddenly gets irate inside] The only thing I'm helping with is gettin' these Goof burgers out of here yesterday. Peg: [dominantly] Not unless you want to do your own cooking, and cleaning, and sunburn peeling forever! [while Peg is coming downstairs holding a box full of balloons to get Goofy's reunion ready, she catches Pete attempting to bouncing out of the house] Peg: [in a prideful tone] Trying to sneak out of helping, huh? Pete: [stammers] I'm, uh, uh, just, uh, getting some, uh, exercise. [gestures it] Peg: Well, while you're huffing and puffing, blow up some of these. [shoves a balloon into his mouth] Goofy: How many O's in ruthless? Pete: I've only got 2 hands and I've used about 3 of them. Pete: [thinking he's been robbed] Call the FBI, call the CIA call the PTA! Pete: What was the name of the unknown soldier? How many feathers does mum goose have? How much would would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? PJ: I can't even say that. Max: Dad, did people really used to call you the Skull? Goofy: Sure did, Numb-skull!