Bernard and the Genie (1992) 5.1

Charles Pinkworth: That's a good point, Bernard. That's a fully-fledged bastard of a good point.

2b

Frank Kepple

c1d

: If you ever need anything, you just call and I'll be up there faster than a poker up a pervert. Bernard Bottle: So all I have to do is wish? Genie: As far as I know; the training for this stupid job is practically nonexistent. Genie: Say the words "I wish" with the caution you would normally reserve for "Please castrate me." Genie: I can see it now: the loving relatives, the priest, the staggeringly-attractive best man, the shagged-out bridesmaids... Genie: One day I was in the Temple when they tried to turn it into a supermarket; Jesus went in there and kicked ass! Bernard Bottle: Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Genie: Yes, but with smaller pectorals. Bernard Bottle: But now, I'm as happy as Michelle Pfeiffer's underpants. Charles Pinkworth: Suddenly my gold fountainpen has gone missing. I am therefore yours in crayon. Charles Pinkworth: As you know, Mr. Bottle left us yesterday, and I've been worrying about it. Do either of you think I was a little harsh on him? Miss Purse: [carefully] Well sir... I think perhaps you might... have given him a warning... Charles Pinkworth: Good, good. You're fired. I want you out of here immediately, you disastrously faded old crone! Exit ye, exit ye! Genie: And you are a very large turd in a horrible pink shirt. Charles Pinkworth: I beg your BLOODY pardon? Charles Pinkworth: Bugger ye off! Genie: You smell of peppermint and now it is time to die! [after trying ice cream for the first time] Genie: It's really cold and it tastes exactly of strawberries!