一位刚出嫁的偷车贼，遭不法分子强迫他去博物馆窃取达文西的大作，黑白两道的人都在通缉他，他如何运用机智解决这一切…… 15世纪时，伟大的艺术家达·芬奇发明了一种能够点石成金的机器，用它能够把铅变成黄金，但还需要一种特殊的水晶石才能使这台机器最终完成。 500年后的19...更多>
[to a waiter at a classy restaurant in Rome] Butterfinger: C'mon, Pierre! Read my lips: steak burger! French Fries? This is France, you gotta have French Fries. Almond Joy: Actually, it's Italy, Butterfinger. As if it made a difference. Butterfinger: Ah, to be in "Paree" and in love! Cardinal: Oh, the Pope warned me never to trust the CIA! Darwin Mayflower: History, tradition, culture... are not concepts! These are trophies I keep in my den as paperweights! The chaos we will cause with this machine will be our final masterpiece! Darwin Mayflower: I'll kill your friends, your family, and the bitch you took to the prom! Hudson Hawk: Betty Jo Byarsky? I can get you an address on that, if you want. Hudson Hawk: You fuck my freedom for a lousy job? Narrator: Long ago, the Duke of Milan commissioned a little known artist to erect a Mammoth statue of a horse. The time was 1481. The artist was Leonardo da Vinci. The guy on the donkey's just a guy on a donkey. [Hawk has just decapitated a villain] Hudson Hawk: Looks like you won't be attending that hat convention in July. Gates: I got a proposition for ya. Hudson Hawk: Answer's "no," Gates... Even if you bathe. Hudson Hawk: But I want to do community service; I want to teach the handicapped how to yodel. Hudson Hawk: If the Mario brothers weren't New Jersey's third-largest crime family, I'd say, "Kiss my ass." But considering your status, I will say, "Slurp my butt." Jerry: 673 Wongs in the phone book. Dean: Hmmm. Helluva lotta Wong numbers. Tommy Five-Tone: Did I miss anything? Hudson Hawk: Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me "Did I miss anything." Gates gets killed, you say "Did I miss anything." I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theatre and said "How was the show? Did I miss anything?" Hudson Hawk:
Is looking like a constipated warthog a prerequisite for getting a job in the artworld?
Darwin Mayflower: So, Hawkmeister. We've got you clothes, a great hotel and a 250,000 lira per diem. Minerva Mayflower: That's 200 dollars a day. So he can get a hooker and some tequila? Veto Darwin. Hudson Hawk: I guess we see who wears the penis in this family. George Kaplan: I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rome. I did my first bare-handed strangulation here. Communist politician. Hudson Hawk: Why George you old softie. George Kaplan: God, I miss Communism. The Red threat... people were scared... the agency had some respect and I got laid every night. Waiter: I am the waiter sir. Hudson Hawk: Oh. Very nice. Fettucini con fungi porcinni. Prego. Oh, and bring me a bottle of ketchup, will ya? Anna: You heard him. Waiter: Ketchup! Ketchup! Stupid Americanos always ketchup... Darwin Mayflower: The last ingredient in the recipe is Da Vinci's model of a helicopter... Minerva Mayflower: ...on display for three days only at the Louvre in Paris. Hudson Hawk: As opposed to the Louvre in Wisconsin? Darwin Mayflower: If Da Vinci was alive today, he'd be eating microwave sushi, naked, in the back of a Cadillac with the both of us. Hudson Hawk: Will you play Nintendo with me? Anna: I can't think of anyone I'd rather play Nintendo with. George Kaplan: The last time you saw me I was bald, beard with no mustache, and I had a different nose. So if you don't recognize me, I won't be offended Hudson Hawk: My high school science teacher? Darwin Mayflower: I'll torture you so slowly, you'll think it's a career. Darwin Mayflower: You New York Italian, father-made-twenty-bucks-a-week son of a bitch. Anna: He's definitely gonna steal the Codex. I can feel it. I'm not sure when. Cardinal: Attempt to steal, you mean. The vanity in this man Hudson Hawk! The Vatican has foiled the advances of pirates and terrorists. We will not lie down for some schmuck from New Jersey. Anna: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 1,200 hours since my last confession. Cardinal: [yawning] Hit me with your best shot. Anna: I betrayed a man. A good man. An innocent man. A thief. Hudson Hawk: Hey, this doesn't taste like cappuccino. Anna: Oh. I guess I put too much ethyl chloride in it. Darwin Mayflower:
Money isn't everything - gold is. Fuck T-bills! Fuck blue chip stocks! Fuck junk bonds! We've got the real deal! Money will always be paper, but gold will always be GOLD!