[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian]
Vivian:
Tell me one person who it's worked out for.
Kit:
What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, God, the pressure of a name... I got it. Cindafuckin'rella
Share this quote
Vivian:
So, what's your name?
Edward Lewis:
Edward.
Vivian:
Really? That's my favorite name in the whole world.
Share this quote
[At the beginning of the evening]
Vivian:
In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
Share this quote
[after negotiating three thousand dollars]
Vivian:
I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward Lewis:
I would have paid four.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
You and I are such similar creatures Vivian. We both screw people for money.
Share this quote
Vivian:
I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions... the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?
Share this quote
[Kit is streetwalking]
Kit:
Hey yo, baby!
Guy in car:
How 'bout a freebie? It's my birthday.
Kit:
Dream on!
Share this quote
Kit:
You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than $100. Call me when you're through. Take care of you.
Vivian:
Take care of you.
Share this quote
[Vivian calls Kit]
Vivian:
I called and called, where were you last night?
Kit:
Ma?
Share this quote
Vivian:
That would make you a... lawyer.
Edward Lewis:
What makes you think I'm a lawyer?
Vivian:
You have that sharp, useless look about you.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
I think we both know she's not my niece.
Barney:
Of course.
Edward Lewis:
And the reason I know that is that I'm an only child.
Share this quote
Vivian:
I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.
Share this quote
Lady at polo match:
Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian:
Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
Share this quote
Kit:
Oh no, come on, you don't know that. Hey he asked you right? Maybe you guys could, like, um you know get a house together and, like, buy some diamonds and a horse. I don't know.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
How much for the entire night?
Vivian:
Stay here? You couldn't afford it.
Edward Lewis:
Try me.
Vivian:
300 dollars.
Edward Lewis:
Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.
Share this quote
Kit:
Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.
Share this quote
Vivian:
You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice.
Share this quote
Vivian:
Can I call you Eddie?
Edward Lewis:
Not if you expect me to answer.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
I told you not to pick up the phone.
Vivian:
Then stop calling me.
Share this quote
Mr. Hollister:
Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive?
Edward Lewis:
Really offensive.
Mr. Hollister:
I like him so much.
Share this quote
[after meeting Vivian]
Elizabeth Stuckey:
She's wonderful! Where ever did you find her?
Edward Lewis:
976-BABE.
Share this quote
Vivian:
I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna let me go.
Share this quote
Vivian:
You're late.
Edward Lewis:
You're stunning.
Vivian:
You're forgiven.
Share this quote
Old Lady at Opera:
Did you like the opera, dear?
Vivian:
It was so good, I almost peed my pants!
Edward Lewis:
She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian:
She rescues him right back.
Share this quote
Vivian:
People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis:
I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian:
The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
You can't charge me for directions!
Vivian:
I can do anything I want to baby, I ain't lost.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
A buffet of safety?
Vivian:
I'm a safety girl.
[Edward stands up]
Vivian:
All right, let's get one of these on ya.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
I never treated you like a prostitute.
[Walks away]
Vivian:
You just did.
Share this quote
Philip Stuckey:
He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
What's your name?
Vivian:
What do you want it to be?
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding your boot up?
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
Oh, Phil! About your car.
Philip Stuckey:
Oh, God! What?
Edward Lewis:
It corners like it's on rails.
Share this quote
Shop assistant:
Hello, can I help you?
Vivian:
I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me.
Shop assistant:
Oh.
Vivian:
You people work on commission, right?
Shop assistant:
Yeah.
Vivian:
Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.
Share this quote
Vivian:
[Vivian slips an escargot while having dinner with Edward and Mr. Morse] Oops... slippery little suckers.
Share this quote
Vivian:
Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, I could just pop ya real good and get outta here.
Edward Lewis:
No, I'd really like you to stay. I don't want to be alone tonight.
Vivian:
Is it your birthday?
Edward Lewis:
No, no. Not my birthday.
Vivian:
Oh. 'Cause you know, I've been the surprise at a lot of birthday parties.
Edward Lewis:
I'll bet you have.
Share this quote
[first lines]
Magician at party:
No matter what they say, it's all about money. So let's imagine, ladies, that you're a savings and loan officer. Watch - one, two, three; see, you've got it all, and we've got nothing. You've got all four, take a look.
Share this quote
[last lines]
Happy Man:
Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.
Share this quote
Vivian:
I want the fairy tale.
Share this quote
Vivian:
Well, color me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!
Share this quote
Vivian:
Let's watch old movies all night... we'll just veg out in front of the TV.
Edward Lewis:
Veg out?
Vivian:
Yeah. Be still like vegetables. Lay like broccoli.
Edward Lewis:
Look, I'll tell ya what. I'll be back. We'll do broccoli tomorrow.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
Impossible relationships. My special gift is impossible relationships.
Share this quote
Vivian:
Bridge? He's not really my uncle.
Bridget:
They never are dear.
Share this quote
Vivian:
[sitting with Edward leaning against her in the bathtub] Did I mention, my leg is 44" from hip to toe. So basically we are talking about 88" of therapy, wrapped around you for the bargain price of $3000 dollars.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
6 nights at $300 is $1800
Vivian:
You want days too.
Edward Lewis:
$2000
Vivian:
$3000
Edward Lewis:
Done.
Share this quote
Vivian:
What would it be like?
Edward Lewis:
It would get you off of the street.
Vivian:
That's just geography.
Share this quote
Vivian:
When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess... trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight... on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time... that I had this dream did the knight say to me, "Come on, baby, I'll put you up in a great condo."
Share this quote
Vivian:
I say who, I say when, I say...
[blubbering]
Vivian:
WHO.
Share this quote
Vivian:
I think you have a lot of special gifts.
Share this quote
Vivian:
[after Edward catches her singing along to Kiss] Don't you just love Prince?
Edward Lewis:
More than life itself.
Share this quote
Vivian:
what's going on
Edward Lewis:
I don't know, you left and suddenly I'm in the middle of The West Side Story
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
It's just that, uh, very few people surprise me.
Vivian:
Yeah, well, you're lucky. Most of 'em shock the hell outta me.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
[Edward and Vivian are bargaining about Vivian's "Salary" at the end of the week] $2,000
Vivian:
3,000
Edward Lewis:
Done
Vivian:
Holy shit!
Share this quote
James Morse:
Mr. Lewis and I are going to build ships together, great big ships.
Share this quote
Edward Lewis:
People's reactions to opera the first time they see it is very dramatic; they either love it or they hate it. If they love it, they will always love it. If they don't, they may learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul.
Share this quote
Vivian:
Oh honey you know what's happened I got a runner in my pantyhose, I'm not wearing pantyhose.
Share this quote
Barney:
It must be difficult to let go of something so beautiful.
Share this quote