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一个异想天开的天才发明家,也是电影公司制作人,在一次试验中把自己变成可速行的人,更是如超人般飞行,但他也同时为人类制造欢乐与希望,更即力发挥超强能力造福人群···片名:WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME,THE  <!--香港百视达-->

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Mom Jittlov: You got a job today? Mike: Yeah, almost; I sold my car. Mom Jittlov: [aghast] Your wonderful car? Mike: Mmm-hmm. Sold my property to pay property taxes. Dora Belair: Look, you work with me, I expect a pro. You don't even shake hands; you oughta see a shrink! Mike: Miss Belair, if you feel compelled to grab part of my body and shake it before you can even be friendly, you've got far worse problems than you think I have. Steve: Lights, camera, and anguish. [Cindy recognizes Mike when they are both in a crowded elevator] Cindy Lite: I beat you here! I'm your cheerleader, remember? Mike 'The Wizard' Jittlov: What? Cindy Lite: This morning, in the car. I gave you the clap. [Cindy claps her hands as everyone else in the elevator gasps and takes a step away from both of them] [Mike tries to join other film industry unions:] Mike: Well it's only a dozen little animated lights... Union Clerk #1: No no no, you can't *move* 'em; gotta join the Grippers' Guild. Mike: I have to be an apprentice first? Union Clerk #2: For three consecutive years, but ya can't be over twenty-five years old. Mike: This is simple back-projection! Union Clerk #3: Go see Union Projectionists! Mike: But it's just projected to a painted matte! Union Clerk #4: Then also join the Painters' Guild. Union Manager: Get his number! Union Clerk #5: He doesn't have a number. Union Manager: Then give him a number and take it away! [Mike and friends try to hide from police helicopters under a green day-glo tarp] Police Officer #1: [sarcastically] Gee whiz, they just disappeared. Police Officer #2: I can't see 'em anywhere. Hey! Let's land on that big green plastic rock! [Mike tries to join the Directors' Union:] Mike: Hello, hi. Directors' Union Clerk: Can I help you? Mike: Yes, how do I join the Directors' Union? Directors' Union Clerk: You need to bring in a copy of the deal memo by your studio producer before you can pay your initiation fee and be cleared by Union Council, thank you... Mike: Uh, excuse me, what is the initiation fee? Directors' Union Clerk: Seven thousand dollars, with a hundred dollar application fee, two hundred dollars every quarter, and ten percent of your salary. Mike: Uhhh, seven thousand dollars, what is that for? Directors' Union Clerk:

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That's the amount you pay to get into our union.

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Mike: What is it, like Social Security? I get it back when I retire? Directors' Union Clerk: Absolutely not! What is your classification? Mike: Uh, well, I'm directing special effects with a small crew. Directors' Union Clerk: Well, then you must have an Assistant Director, a Second AD, and a UPM, all signed with the DUA. Mike: All I'm directing is animation! Directors' Union Clerk: Well then discuss that with the Animators' Union. [Mike tries to join the Animators' Union:] Animators' Union Clerk: (*gul-yuk-hoohoo!*) So, uh, what's your animation classification, huh? Mike: Well, a lot of everything. Cartoon, kinestasis, rotoscoping, stop-motion... Animators' Union Clerk: WOAH! Well, cartoon animation alone is twenty-one hundred dollars, plus a fifty dollar entry fee, and a hundred dollar quarterly dues. Mike: Well, what about filming animation? Animators' Union Clerk: (*ubbidy-ub*) Well then ya go to the Camera Union. [Mike tries to join the Camera Union:] Camera Union Clerk: No sir, the studio hires the next man on the roster. Mike: Well, how do I get on the roster? Camera Union Clerk: You have to be in the union. Mike: Well, how do I get *in* the union? Camera Union Clerk: When you're on the roster. Mike: You mean I can't join unless I'm already a member? Camera Union Clerk: That's correct. Then you need thirty consecutive days camera operation, a complete physical exam, the producer sends a letter, and *you* pay your fees. Mike: Well, fine, I've done ten years of camera work! Camera Union Clerk: Then you've worked in violation of seniority! You'll have to start allll over, as a film loader. Mike: Look, I'm just building a small set and filming it! Camera Union Clerk: That's entirely another union. Set and Modelmakers. Next door! [Choreographer stomps off in a huff:] Choreographer: This is the most unprofessional job I've ever had - What is this? - Why, nobody knows where they're going or what they're doing, of course except for... Me! [falls into pile of film cans] Canadian Thug: Gee, I never drove a stick shift before. American Thug: This is automatic! Canadian Thug: Well then how come it's not drivin' itself, eh? American Thug: Where'd you learn to drive? Canadian Thug: The Autopia at Disneyland. Harvey Bookman: Now I want... Big Bang all around the rocket girls, I wanna see video explosions everywhere. I wanna see little meteors shooting out into space; space everywhere! Video Editor:

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Look! I don't do miracles.

魔登大侠

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