[Outside her flat] Kate: Don't be fooled by the grim exterior. It's a good deal grimmer inside. Dexter: All these weeks I've been coming here, I've been wanting to ask you something. What I really want to know is... er, what's your name? Kate: Kate... Lemmon. Horrid name! Dexter: No, no, not at all. Could have been worse. Could have been called Hitler, Tampon, or something. Dexter: God take my testicles and fry them up with bacon! Dexter: How was your day? Kate: Not great. A nurses's day is always pretty grisly. A woman I was with gave birth to a baby in a lift. Dexter: Well, that was okay, er? Kate: It would have been, but her husband slipped on the afterbirth and broke his collarbone. Dexter: I hope all your children have very small dicks! And that includes the girls! Ron Anderson: You're both sacked. I give you a week's notice. Dexter: You can't do that! I demand to talk to the producer. Ron Anderson: I am the producer. Dexter: In that case, you can do that but I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of sacking me because I resign! Ron Anderson: Fine, then you get no severance pay and I sue your arse for breach of contract. Dexter: In that case I don't resign, you total and utter bastard! Ron Anderson: [slams the door in Dexter's face] Dexter: I hope all your children have very small dicks! And that includes the girls! Dexter: Please? Just dinner? Let me explain: I was a complete, total, utter idiot! I have learned my lesson completely, totally, utterly! Kate: Just dinner? Dexter: Promise! Kate: What? No sex at the end? Dexter: Well, maybe - sex? Yes! Alright, if you insist! Kate: Are you going to walk me home? Or should I just get murdered on my own? Mary: Well, the only other thing at the moment is a new musical that the RSC are doing. Dexter: Er, what's it about? Mary: The Elephant Man. Dexter: A musical of the Elephant Man? What's it called?
Mary: "Elephant", I think - with an exclamation mark presumably. Dexter: Pity the poor bastard who has to play the elephant. Mary: Remember dearest, everyone thought Jesus Christ Superstar was a stupid idea. Dexter: Jesus Christ Superstar WAS a stupid idea. Mary: True. Ron Anderson: Listen, Dexter, is there something troubling you? Something that you would like to talk to someone about? Dexter: Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is... Ron Anderson: Then for fuck's sake talk to someone about it, will you? And sort it out before I sack you and hire a lobotomized monkey to play your role. Okay? Ron Anderson: Sorry I'm so late. Had some rather special guests at my show tonight. Difficult to tell the heir to the throne to bugger off because you've got a party to go to. Ron Anderson: [to Cyprus Charlie] How dare you improvise, you diminutive Mediterranean moron! Ron Anderson: What in the name of Judas Iscariot's bumboy is going on? Ron Anderson: [as he is being tied up by Dexter] What the hell is going on? Dexter: I'll tell you what's going on - first you waste four years of my life! And then you take the only thing I ever really cared about! Ron Anderson: Your bicycle? Dexter: Vengeance shall be mine!