Andrew Dice Clay: C'mon baby, lose the bra. Andrew Dice Clay: Hickory Dickory Dock. Some chick's been sucking my cock. Clock struck two, dropped my goo... Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: ...Dumped the bitch down the next block!
[talking to a couple in the audience]
Andrew Dice Clay: Panties? You shouldn't be wearing panties. D-Don't you read the gynaecological reports! [uproarious laughter] Andrew Dice Clay: You get that-that moisture build-up which leads to you know, the yeast thing. [more laughter] Andrew Dice Clay: I mean, you're making *bread* down there, baby. [more laughter] Andrew Dice Clay: And after the guy eats a loaf-and-a-half he gets FULL! [more laughter] Andrew Dice Clay: Jack and Jill went up the hill, each witk a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty, OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Andrew Dice Clay, Audience: WHAT A FUCKING WHORE! Andrew Dice Clay: [first line during show] I got my tongue up this chick's ass.