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John Cusack
演员
饰Ivan Alexeev
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Tim Robbins
演员
饰Josh Tager
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Mary Crosby
演员
饰Samantha Greg...
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Susan Tyrrell
演员
饰Nikki Morton
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Doug McClure
演员
饰Sid Tager
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Connie Stevens
演员
饰June Tager
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FBI Man #1:
Remember what we did to Jello Biafra?
Mo Fuzz:
All good things come in threes.
Josh Tager:
It's not good things. It's celebrity deaths that come in threes.
Ivan Alexeev:
You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.
Samantha Gregory:
I thought we had a professional relationship.
Ivan Alexeev:
So I'll pay.
Ivan:
You, you've got no ambition! You're content just existing! You need what I've got, brother.
Josh:
Herpes?
[Ivan & Josh explain their tardiness to their security boss]
Ivan:
Anybody else who'd save Pablo Casales - perhaps the greatest cellist in the world with the possible exception of Yo-Yo Ma - from a fiery car wreck on Sunset Boulevard would be bragging about it, but not Josh. He didn't want to spoil the 11 o'clock news for you.
Norton:
Don't bullshit me. I'm a big cello fan! Casales died years ago!
Norman Mart:
Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Russians have satellite laser weapons. Why can't we, too?
Mo Fuzz:
This group is hotter than hot. They've sold more records in Sweden than Abba.
Mo Fuzz:
I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec.
Ivan Alexeev:
Josh, losing those jobs is the best thing that ever happened to us! We're free to pursue our destiny!
Josh Tager:
What, abysmal failure?
Ivan Alexeev:
Negativity festers in you, man!
[Watching a music video]
Josh Tager:
Stupid. Inane. Vapid. Mind-rot. Stench. Pabulum.
Ivan Alexeev:
Yeah, it's all right!
[after being "HA!"-ed]
Ivan Alexeev:
I'm gonna make him eat that syllable.
Ivan Alexeev:
You know, Josh, in primitive societies, after they sever the umbilical cord, they eat the placenta in a ritualistic ceremony
[bites into a burger]
Ivan Alexeev:
Want a bite?
[Belinda is setting fire to a painting with a welding torch]
Belinda Mart:
You like it?
Josh Tager:
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Like it? What is it?
Belinda Mart:
I call it..."Destruction Of Art."
Josh Tager:
Look, Ivan... I hope you're not putting too much faith in me. I don't even know if I...
Ivan Alexeev:
"IF"? Instant Failure! "FEAR" - False Evidence Appearing Real! We've talked about this!
Belinda Mart:
Ivan, why aren't you helping Josh set up the equipment?
Ivan Alexeev:
He's an artist. He's hands-on. You know what I do? I use my selling techniques to give my artist friend the personal freedom he needs. Freedom, choices, possibilities. That's what I'm about. The boring administrative stuff, you know? I envy him.
[beat]
Ivan Alexeev:
Can you get me another drink?
Belinda Mart:
Sure.
Bald Executive:
Everybody loves Menudo!
Heavy Metal Fan:
What time is it? What time is it? Oh! I hate waiting!
Video Vixen:
[after making the Blender Children's video, the video vixens swarm around Josh with requests] Teach me to read!
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