A series of short sketches, most of which parody late-night television and the low-budget movies one often finds there. Other skits include ...更多>
B.B. King: Did you know that every 7 minutes, a black person is born in this country with no soul? Son of the Invisible Man: Being invisible is the best. Henny Youngman: Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. Why do Jewish guys die before their wives? They want to. Slappy White: But I was asked to say a couple of words about Harvey. How about "ugly" and "cheap"? Harvey wrote his will on his cock, and his lawyer said it would not stand up in court. Bernice Pitnik: I'm glad to see Slappy White here today. Now at least I know my hubcaps are safe. And Rip Taylor, is that a toupee, or did a beaver curl up and die on your head? As I look at Henny Youngman today, I'm not so sure we're burying the right guy. Murray: [after having been zapped into his television] Oh no! I'm in black and white! Murray: Where am I? Selma: On the Disney Channel. At least there I know you won't catch anything. [the Penthouse Girl tells about her life] Taryn Steele: I have grown so much since then. I can't hardly believe it's me. I am a beach person and a night person. I'm really sorry for everybody who doesn't live in California, because we got it all, the mountains, the sun. Steve Allen: Harvey himself is gonna throw in his two cents as soon as we take 'em off his eyelids. Rip Taylor: What's this, an audience or a funeral? Now, pay attention, please. But I'm a little nervous because Harvey was a personal friend of mine, and there's not a person in this room that Harvey Pitnik did not touch. I must say, he touched me for 40 bucks and Steve for 20. Rip Taylor: But I do feel for his widow, Bernice. That was a romantic marriage. She learned everything about sex from a manual. Immanuel was their gardener. Rip Taylor: I'm sorry, I better wrap it up now, folks. 'Cause you know the old axiom in show business - 'get off quick.' Like Harvey on his wedding night. Slappy White: But in conclusion, I'd like to say congratulations, Harvey. Rigor mortis is the closest you've ever come to a hard-on in 15 years. Pirate 1: Help yourself, mates. A chest full of video discs. Pirate 2: No! Pirate 3
: What good are they? Pirate 4: Can't record on 'em. Pirate 2: They're not compatible with my system. Pirate Captain: [looking at the FBI Warning on the video] Ohhh, I'm so scared. Apartment Victim: [Arsenio Hall has been on the receiving end of a wrong number for the same person three times in a row, and is getting frustrated] There ain't no fuckin' Thelma here! The bitch don't LIVE here! [pause] Apartment Victim: Fuck you, too, man! Man in Pub: [teasing the "invisible man"] Oh, my. Now, how did that happen? There must be a ghost in here. Son of the Invisible Man: Ever seen a shirt make a phone call? OOoohhh... Harry Landers: That's not a baby, that's a Mr. Potato Head!