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A Garfield Christmas Special
(1987)
- 又 名A Garfield Christmas Special
- 编 剧
Jim Davis
-
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Jon Arbuckle:
Hey, Dad.
Doc Boy:
Psst. Hey, Dad. You awake?
Jon Arbuckle:
Dad?
[turns on light]
Doc Boy:
[shouts] Dad, you awake?
Dad:
I'm awake now. What do you boys want?
Jon Arbuckle:
Is it time to open our presents yet?
Dad:
It's 1:30 in the morning. No, it is not time to open our presents yet.
[turns off light]
Doc Boy:
[to Jon] It is Christmas morning now, you know.
Jon Arbuckle:
[turns light back on] Doc Boy has a point there. Any time after midnight is technically Christmas morning, you know.
Dad:
[to Jon and Doc Boy] Go to bed!
Jon Arbuckle:
All right, all right.
[turns off light]
Doc Boy:
Pleasant dreams, Dad. It is Christmas morning, you know.
Jon Arbuckle:
I know that and you know that.
[shuts door]
Jon Arbuckle:
Now, behave yourself this Christmas, Garfield.
Garfield:
No problem. I'll wait in the car.
Dad:
Well, what do you boys want to do first? Do you want to do chores? Do you want to eat breakfast? Or do you want to open presents?
Jon Arbuckle, Doc Boy:
[shout] Presents!
Jon Arbuckle:
Hey Garfield, how about something to eat?
Garfield:
[filled with table scraps] No thanks, Jon, I've opted to watch my waist line this holiday season.
Garfield:
All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to say: Christmas. It's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it. Now get out of here.
Jon Arbuckle:
Garfield, I have a very important job for you. It's a dangerous job, but if you succeed, you'll be a hero.
Garfield:
A hero! I like that.
Jon Arbuckle:
I want you to take this star up the tree and put it on the top.
Garfield:
Climbing trees is my life, sir. If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me.
Garfield:
Whoever invented Christmas trees should be dragged out into the street and shot.
Garfield:
Never send a man to do a cat's job.
Mom:
And now, my little boy is going to favor us with a Christmas song.
Doc Boy:
I don't know about this, Mom.
Dad:
Boy, you doggone better well play. Those 24 years of py-ano lessons better be worth something.
Jon Arbuckle:
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Doc Boy, my favorite brother.
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Doc Boy:
Don't call me Doc Boy. And in case you've forgotten, I'm your ONLY brother.
Jon Arbuckle:
I remember when my brother Doc Boy and I were little...
Garfield:
Oh brother. Here we go.
Jon Arbuckle:
[singing] Dad would chop down the tree.
Garfield:
Chores.
Jon Arbuckle:
Mom would fix us a meal.
Garfield:
Work.
Jon Arbuckle:
Doc Boy would get in the way.
Garfield:
Fighting. Big fat hairry deal.
Jon Arbuckle:
Decorating the tree.
Garfield:
Gardening.
Jon Arbuckle:
Wiring all of the lights.
Garfield:
Electrical contracting.
Jon Arbuckle:
Wrapping boxes and writing out cards.
Garfield:
Office work. Out of sight.
Garfield:
Hello,what's this? Why it's sausage gravy!
[Garfield licks some gravy off his paw.His face turns red from the chilli powder that Grandma had put in the gravy earlier.Garfield's ears smoke and he spits out fire]
Garfield:
Perfect!
Mom:
Doc Boy, will you say grace please?
Doc Boy:
Oh, Mom!
Mom:
[warningly] Doc Boy!
Doc Boy:
I never know what to...
[Grandma hits Doc Boy on the head with the soup ladle, and Doc Boy goes into prayer]
Doc Boy:
[praying] Lord, we just want to tell how how grateful we are for this food. And, um, for letting us all be here together on Christmas Eve.
Mom:
Amen!
[Everyone starts to go for the food, but Doc Boy stands up and continues his prayer]
Doc Boy:
And surely, as the water finds the streams and the river find the sea, let each of us find happiness and wisdom in this hour!
[Grandma hits Doc Boy with the ladle]
Doc Boy:
Thanks, Lord. Let's eat!
[Doc Boy plays a draining song of "O Christmas Tree" on the piano]
Doc Boy:
O Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree! How lovely are thy...
[Grandma bumps Doc Boy off the piano]
Grandma:
Scoot over, Sonny Boy! Let ol'Grandma take a whack at that!
[Grandma plays a mean piano and everyone is awestruck]
Grandma:
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree! How lovely are thy branches! Woah-Boop-Bee-Doop-Bee-Doop-Bee-Doop!
Dad:
[reading "Binky: The Clown Who Saved Christmas"] There once was a clown named Binky, who loved children. Every time Binky saw children, he would say, "Hey kids!"
Jon Arbuckle:
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Dad! Read it with more emotion!
Doc Boy:
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Yeah, yeah! And why don't you say it like how Binky says it?
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Dad:
[Clears throat] Every time Binky saw children, he would say, "HEEEEEEEEY, KIDS!"
[Odie licks Dad]
Dad:
Cut that out!
Jon Arbuckle:
We're almost back on the farm now, boys. I can almost smell Mom's chesnut dressing baking in the oven right now.
Garfield:
That's not what I smell.
Jon Arbuckle:
[singing] Then we'd take those presents / And pile them under the tree / We'd barely get a wink of sleep / Wondering what they could be.
Garfield:
[singing] The special gifts of Christmas.
Jon Arbuckle:
Christmas.
Garfield:
That really make it great.
Jon Arbuckle:
It's so great.
Garfield:
Are the insomnia and the anxiety... Kids get from having to wait.
Jon Arbuckle:
Can't wait 'til Christmas / There's so much to do / Can't wait 'til Christmas...
Garfield:
Wake me when it's through.
Jon Arbuckle:
Grandma, you remember Garfield, don't you?
Grandma:
Well I'll be. I remember back when all we had were wood-burning cats. What will they think of next?
Garfield:
Bizarre.
Mom:
Isn't this wonderful? The whole family together again for the holidays. We're going to have such a splendid Christmas. Oh, I'm so happy I could just burst.
Grandma:
Oh, put a sock in it, deary.
Garfield:
[about Jon's parents' farm] Attentive service. Excellent cuisine. However the decor leaves something to be desired. I give this place two stars.
Jon Arbuckle:
Hey, Mom. Please pass the potatoes.
Mom:
Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked, or boiled?
Jon Arbuckle:
Mom! You always fix too much food.
Mom:
I know, dear, I know. Now what would you like?
Jon Arbuckle:
I can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie.
Mom:
Apple, peach, blueberry, cherry, or banana cream?
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