I'm a widower. That's like catnip to a cat, in a town where the ladies outnumber you ten to one.
[about his birthday cake]
Okay, what is it? How old are you, Murphy?
Just set the damn thing on fire!
It might be the ball cock.
Most problems start there.
I'm in love for the first time in my life.
You are a miserable little son of a bitch, you know that? I don't know why she took you in the house... I'd bed you down with the dogs! And I'll tell you something else, mister, you may be a lot younger and stronger, but you're about to get your ass kicked from here to the state line... and I'm wearin' the boots that can do it!
Bobby Jack Moriarty:
You're a feisty old booger, aren't ya.
I thought we just settled that!