23
Russ
e8f
:
Hi. My name is Russ, and I'm a Sagittarius. I enjoy surfing, candlelit dinners, and Tolstoi. Listen: you're a mature person and I'm a mature person, so why don't we just skip all the bullshit, get rid of our inhibitions, and DO what we really wanna DO?
Robin:
Mark doesn't want you because you're mean and evil. He wants me because I am nice and sweet and pure so fuck off.
Robin Pierce:
I'm the owner of the pants you've been trying to get into for the past four years.
Mark Kendall:
I don't want to be a vampire. I'm a *day* person.
[repeated line]
Mark Kendall:
I'm not a vampire
Mark Kendall:
Um, guys... What was that all about in the showers?
Jamie:
She said we had to check your inner thigh for marks!
Mark Kendall:
You could have just asked.
Jamie:
Oh my god... That means we liked it!
Russ:
No... no!
Jamie:
That's it. We're homos! We're rump-rangers!
Robin Pierce:
[Emerging from a coffin, smirking] You're too late.
Countess:
You couldn't have! You've been in there for less than a minute.
[Mark emerges from the coffin smirking]
Countess:
[dejectedly] You did.
[upbeat]
Countess:
But you didn't have time to enjoy it.
Mark Kendall:
Get me outta here.
Robin Pierce:
I want to but I want it to be special.
Countess:
Hello, tall, dark and handsome.
Mark Kendall:
Me?
Countess:
I haven't had anything this pure since the Vienna Boys' Choir hit town.
Mark Kendall:
It finally happened. Did I enjoy it?
Robin Pierce:
Ow. You bit my lip.
Jamie:
How'd you to have your crotch set on fire?
Mark Kendall:
I can't. I have to go to college.
Mark Kendall:
I can't be a vampire. I have to go college.