advertisement Lester: Are you always like this? Pee-Wee Herman: No, sometimes I act really silly. Pee-Wee Herman: We sure picked a dumb time to not be invisible. Holdup Man: Who are you? Mary: I'm Gladys Knight and these are my Pips. [Julian asks Mary about painting the master bedroom] Julian: It's House and Condo's Color of the Month. Mary: I don't care if it's Baskin Robbins flavor of the month! You are not painting our bedroom passion purple! Lester: Passion Purple, Are you Crazy? Travis: Cheap! $3.95 a gallon and they threw in the beret! Julian: Balderdash! Sandra: Calvin, You're still a boy. Calvin: [Before Sandra screams when Calvin tries to kiss her] Hopefully I won't be after tonight! Sandra: Don't move, breathe deep, think about Church! Tiffany: Um, Brenda, can I get Calvin's autograph? Brenda: [after hearing Tiffany's request] Bye Tiffany! Sandra: [to Rose after she sneezed and destroyed an old map] You really blew it now Rose! [Sandra is paying rent to Rose] Sandra: Three months' rent. Rose Lee: Good, now you're only two months behind! Sandra: By this summer, I can buy anything I want. I wonder if the Washington Redskins are for sale. Sandra: [after receiving a bouquet of flowers] Oh, Mary! You know what? These are probably from Tony apologizing for last night. Mary: You see there? All upset for nothing. Sandra: [reading the attached note] Oh! Dear Snookums, please accept these flowers as well as an invitation to dinner Friday night at La Bamba! Love, Tony! Mary: La Bamba? Child, that place is so expensive, even the doorman takes credit cards. Sandra: [laughs] Oh, look, Mary, isn't this cute? There's a P.S! Please don't tell... Sandra. [voice changes to an angry tone upon realizing the flowers are for her roommate, Donna] Donna Dalton: Hi! [seeing flowers in Sandra's hand] Donna Dalton: Oh, those are so pretty! Sandra: They're yours. Donna Dalton: Aw! [grabbing the flowers] Donna Dalton: From who? Sandra: From Tony. Donna Dalton: Aw! I wonder where I should put them? Sandra: [menacingly moves towards Donna] I know exact... Mary: [while pulling Sandra back] Uh! Uh! Um! Donna Dalton: I-Is there something wrong? Sandra: [mockingly] I-Is there something wrong? Yeah, there's something wrong! You obviously made a mistake in judgement! Nobody, I mean, nobody messes with Sandra Clark! Donna Dalton: What are you so upset about? You got a 100 guys calling you! Sandra: [defiantly] Well, today's it's 99. Rose Lee: Mary, now you know I am a very understanding person. Sandra: HA! Rose Lee: But I told Sandra if she didn't have that rent money by the end of the week, she was out of here! Sandra: And after all the favors I've done for her! Rose Lee: Favors? What favors? Sandra: What about last week? You were feeling kind of low. You spent all that money on a new dress and you didn't know if it was attractive. You came to me for help, and I looked you straight in the eye and said it was gorgeous. [smugly] Sandra: I lied, Rose. Rose Lee: [while interviewing applicants to be Sandra's roommate] Hello, I'm Rose Holloway, the landlady here, and this is Miss Sandra Clark. Muffin Tee Matthews: [in a Southern accent] Nice to meet you! Muffin Tee Matthews Sandra: Muffin? Muffin Tee Matthews: Oh, that's not my real name. I just use it for the beauty pageants. Sandra: Beauty pageants? Muffin Tee Matthews: And may I say that living with you would be so fufilling and rewarding! Sandra: What are you, Miss Congeniality? Muffin Tee Matthews: No. I'm Miss Tuscaloosa. And next year, we're going after Miss America. My manager says I'm a perfect 10! Sandra: Oh, what a shame! Muffin Tee Matthews: Why? Sandra: Rose has it in her lease: Two perfect 10's can't share the same apartment. [grabbing Muffin's hand] Sandra: Oh, I'm so sorry! Oh, thank you! See you on the runway... Miss Tuscaloosa! [pushes Muffin out of the door] Mary: [while watching Donna walking, laughing, and flirting with two guys] Um, Madonna? I mean... Donna. I think we need to talk. Donna Dalton: Sure, Aunt Mary, what about? Mary: [referring to Donna's new look and attitude] About your... your, um... difference. Donna Dalton: Oh, I know, isn't it wonderful? I feel like a whole new person! I've never had this much fun in my entire life! I feel so good and confident about myself! Coming to see you and Uncle Lester has been the best thing that's ever happened to me! Oh, I love it here! [kisses Mary on the cheek and walks inside the apartment] Pearl Shay: Well, you sure straightened her out. Rose Lee: [referring to Sandra] Mary, this woman has got me at the end of my rope! Sandra: [muttering] It should be around your neck. Alexandria DeWitt: And this must be Brenda. Brenda: Yes, Ma'am. I mean, hi. Alexandria DeWitt: Brenda, this should be fun. Do you like music? Brenda: Oh, I love music! Alexandria DeWitt: Good, I brought my entire collection of the Three B's. Brenda: What group is that? Alexandria DeWitt: Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms. Brenda: Oh, I like rap: Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince? Alexandria DeWitt: Oh, honey, you'll grow out of it. Alexandria DeWitt: And you must be... Sandra: Oh, I'm Madame Curie. Alexandria DeWitt: Oh, you're much prettier than she. Sandra: Ah! Give this kid a Nobel prize! Alexandria DeWitt: Oh, she won one of those for the betterment of mankind. Sandra: Oh, gee! We both work for the same cause! Alexandria DeWitt: Now Brenda, would you kindly show me to my room? Brenda: You mean, MY room. Alexandria DeWitt: [in a disgusted tone] You mean, we're SHARING? Brenda: Well, actually, the hall closet is empty.