advertisement Mac Robinson: Bull has got himself a girlfriend. Dan Fielding: Really? Animal, mineral or vegetable? [repeated line] Buddy Ryan: ...but I'm feeling MUCH better now! Christine Sullivan: Oh I got married in a pancake house! What could be more idiotic? Dan Fielding: A chicken and waffle joint comes to mind. [after Christine makes a joke] Harry Stone: She is to comedy what Roy Rogers is... to comedy. Harry T. Stone: Fifty dollars plus time served. Dan Fielding: [to Harry] If you weren't born, Walt Disney would have to draw you. Harry Stone: [to a defendant] Well, I'm gonna find the defendant guilty of assault and battery, and Mr. Gunther, I am gonna give you two days in the slammer. Because you've got to learn, that this is not funny, no matter what you think of the man's musical talent! [we see the victim who has a harmonica stuffed in his mouth] Dan Fielding: Be grateful it was your mouth. [Mac walks in on Bull who is leaning over the rear end of a horse] Bull Shannon: Hi, Mac; it's not what you think! Mac Robinson: God, I hope not! [on trial are a group of beauty contestants who attacked their sneaky pageant coordinator] Dan Fielding: Your Honor, according to witnesses, Miss Congeniality led the attack with a kick to the groin. Judge Harold 'Harry' T. Stone: If I had a dime for every woman... Assistant District Attorney Daniel Reinhold Fielding: You could make a phone call. Lorna Huebner: Your Honor, my father's dying words were, "No matter what, don't make me go with Arlene." Arlene Huebner: Why, you lying...! Harry Stone: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dying words? Is Dad dead? Dan Fielding: As a kipper on a cracker! [shocked looks] Dan Fielding: I'm sorry to say. Harry Stone: Well, the way you were just talking about him, I kind of got the impression that he was, you know, here. Bull Shannon: He is, Your Honor. [Bull holds up a small urn and places it on Harry's desk] Bull Shannon: This is Mr. Hubner. Harry Stone: Gee, he's a lot shorter than I pictured. Bull Shannon: [approaches the cafeteria table where everyone is sitting. He is wearing boxers and a t-shirt] Hi, guys. Harry Stone: Bull? Bull Shannon: Oh, don't worry, Your Honor. I'm just having one of those dreams where you show up to work in your underwear. Harry Stone: Bull, this isn't a dream. Bull Shannon: It's not? [everyone shakes there heads] Bull Shannon: Yikes! [Bull runs out] Yakov Korolenko: Go, Yankees! Lou Piniella! [during a Christmas episode, Harry happens to look outside of his chambers, and sees a reindeer in the hallway] Harry Stone: [running back into chambers] Everyone, come quick, you have to see this! [everyone runs out into the hallway. Selma is standing where the reindeer was] Bull Shannon: It's Selma! Harry Stone: Selma, did you see that? Selma Hacker: I saw it, all right. [she begins to walk away. Everyone runs to where she was standing] Selma Hacker: If you think I'm cleaning that up, you're out of your mind. Dan Fielding: You know, one of my college roommates actually contracted rabies. He died soon after. Got run over while chasing a car. [chuckles] Dan Fielding: Just kidding. He died of rabies. Dan Fielding: I know every nook and cranny a body could fit into in this place. Phil Sanders: That's the kind of failure I can only dream about. Dan Fielding: I have stood next to death, and people liked him better. [after an electrician uses ashes from an urn in a coffee maker to test the circuit] Judge Harold 'Harry' T. Stone: That wasn't herb tea... that was Herb! Phil Sanders: [suggesting a slogan for Dan's mayoral campaign] The Big Apple needs a worm like Fielding! Harry Stone: [watching a videotape of a couple having public sex in Central Park] They're breaking the law, alright. Mac Robinson: Of gravity.