When a Paul enters his apartment to find Mary fighting off a swinger who has gotten into the wrong apartement (and thinks that Mary is just ...更多>
Paul: It's amazing what you can do with a cheap piece of meat if you know how to treat it. [Discussing cheap wine] Customer: Really? Stomach cramps? But it's such a good buy. Paul: Well, so is lighter fluid at three ninety-five a pint but I wouldn't serve it to my dinner guests. Paul: A hundred-and-seventy-five-dollar-a-month rent increase! How are we going to pay that? Mary: Don't worry. We can live on your insta-cash card for a month or so. Paul: Don't you remember? It was canceled for non-payment. Paul: Mary, I just killed a man. Mary: He was a man. Now he's just a bag of garbage. Mary: At the store, can you buy a new frying pan? I'm a little squeamish about using the one we use to kill people. Susan - Swinger in Fur: We're into B&D but not S&M. We met at the A&P. Paul: Why don't you go to bed, honey? I'll bag the Nazi and straighten up. Mary: Why should we give up any of that money? We had to kill two people to get it! Raoul Mendoza: You killed two people for less than a thousand dollars? Mary: ...One of them shortchanged us. Paul: [to Mary, after killing someone] Well, there's one consideration. If you'd done what he asked, he would have died anyway. Sex Shop Customer: Have you got the latest issue of Nuns and Nazis? Sex Shop Salesman: Tuesday. Sex Shop Salesman: Okay, your vibrators start at $10.95 and go up. We've got the Salami, Man-o'-War and... [pulls out huge vibrator] Sex Shop Salesman: Alien. Paul: Just give me the cheapest one. Sex Shop Salesman: Wait a minute. There's nothing cheap about my store. You mean inexpensive don't you? [pokes Paul on shoulder with "Alien" vibrator] Sex Shop Salesman: Isn't that what you meant? Paul: [intimidated] Yes. Sex Shop Salesman: That's what I thought you meant! Sex Shop Salesman: Le Orgy Gel comes in lemon, mint, cherry or trail mix. Paul: Trail mix? Sex Shop Salesman: I was making a joke.
Sex Shop Salesman
: But I'm telling you - you're gonna need a lubricant for this vibrator. Unless your date's inflatable. Ha! Paul: For your information, I'm buying this to use as a novelty cocktail stirrer! Sex Shop Salesman: [shouts] Sure!