advertisement King: Who stands out there? Wizard: Your loyal subjects come to pay their monthly tribute. King: Send me one. Wizard: Sir? King: Send one of those fellows in here. Wizard: Which, sir? King: I don't care. Send me... That lowly stupid looking one that's covered with dust. Who's he? Wizard: The miller, sir, with his sack of flour. King: He'll do. King: You must spin for me just one more night. And when you do, I will make you my wife. Wizard: Wife? Uh, I mean to say, oh your wife? King: My queen. Wizard: The miller's daughter, my lord, your queen? King: Yes, you toothless rube, where else am I going to meet a girl who's richer? Wizard: I have teeth, sire. King: I see in you the mark of intelligence. The Miller: Me, sir? King: You, Miller. I am surrounded by fools. You are the man who will give me good advice. The Miller: Me? King: Are you not intelligent? The Miller: Um... [Shakes his head, then nods] The Miller: Yes, sir, mm-hmm. Miller's Daughter: Little man, oh little man? Oh, why won't you answer me? Wizard: [Suddenly comes in] Did you call me? Miller's Daughter: No! Fairy Godmother: Honey, I'm your fairy godmother. Didn't you see me "poof" next to you? Cinderella: Do you know anything about kissing? Prince Henry: I'm almost certain it has something to do with the lips. Cinderella: I'm hopelessly in love and now I'll never see him again. Cinderella: But Fairy Godmother, isn't it a little cruel to turn them into rabbits. Fairy Godmother: They'll be back to normal at midnight. Prince Henry: Midnight? Midnight! Then that explains... Fairy Godmother: Not only handsome, but smart. Fairy Godmother: [after having transformed the step-mother and step-sisters into rabbits] I've been wanting to do that for a long time. Prince Richard: You've infected my milk. The Good Fairy: But someday a prince will come. Henbane: You do have a way with words, dear heart. Cinderella: I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. Prince Henry: That's all right. In fact, it's quite refreshing. I get tired of being recognized all the time. Of course, it's hard to stay anonymous when your face is on all the money. Prince Richard: I say, do you know where you are? Princess Alecia: I know exactly where I am. I'm lost. Prince Richard: Something ghastly has happened to this room. Princess Alecia: I cleaned it up. Princess Alecia: I'd like to sympathize with you but unfortunately life isn't always perfect. Prince Richard: Well, for a prince it jolly well ought to be. Princess Alecia: But it isn't. Prince Richard: Why not? Princess Alecia: Because princes are human beings and human beings aren't perfect. Of course I come pretty close. Prince Richard: Why can't I find a woman who's... who's kind, and gentle and understanding? Princess Alecia: And *fun*, Richard, and fun. Prince Richard: And fun. Someone who's... who's... Well, just like you. Oh, I say. Queen Veronica: Who is this? Prince Richard: This is Princess Alecia, who happens to be the girl I've decided to m-m-m-m... Princess Alecia: Marry. Prince Richard: Thank you. Princess Alecia: Just a minute, you haven't passed *my* test. To see if you're a real prince or not. Prince Richard: [he sputters] That is absurd, of course I'm the prince. Ask anybody. Princess Alecia: Wait a minute. This is the test. You have to kiss me. Prince Richard: That's it? Princess Alecia: Would you wait a minute? You have to kiss me. And if you're a real prince, then I should hear trumpets playing and bells ringing, and I should see stars exploding. Prince Richard: Oh, Lord. I... I suppose I could give it a whirl. Prince Henry: [referring to the glass slipper] It's a perfect fit. I've found my princess. Cinderella: Thank you, I've been looking for that everywhere. [takes out the other slipper] Arlene: She cheated! King: What a beautiful lady. Well, are you going to introduce me? Prince Henry: We're dancing, father. King: So? I'm the King, introduce me. Cinderella: I've heard so much about you. Prince Henry: Can you come back again later? Please? King: All right... No need to get huffy.