[the dog runs out of the room after Mrs. Kissel farts]
Whenever Mrs. Kissel breaks wind, we beat the dog.
If you were dancing with your wife, or girlfriend you knew in high school, and you said to her, Darling, they're playing our song, do you know what they'd be playing?
Why Don't We Do It In The Road. Fuckin' hell kind of era is that?
By what name are you known, sir?
Donald. Don, to my friends and paying customers.
In that case, I'll have another double Don. Double Don, God, that's going to be difficult to say by the shank of the evening. Better make that one a single.
Be careful sir, you shouldn't mix drugs and alcohol.
[laughs] You could have fooled me.
Doesn't he do anything except swim and jog on the beach?
Oh yes! He makes me happy. So I let him swim and jog on the beach.
I was in the Royal Air Force as a matter of fact.
I thought you had to be English to be in that.
You an English fella, huh?
[after long reflection] That's all right.
[examining George's bee sting] That looks bad, have you taken anything for it?
Ah, yes, I took 4 of your birth control pills, I hope that's okay.
[kisses George on the cheek] Try an antihistimine.
I don't like those, they make me pregnant!