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Katherine Olivia Gatling:
Benson, what's a broken heart?
Benson DuBois:
Oh, there's no such thing, Katie. It's just a term we use to describe one of life's little disappointment that comes close to killing you.
[Repeated line]
Gretchen:
I HEAR YOU!
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III:
I make money the old-fashioned way. I inherit it.
[Marcie is checking on the results of an election Taylor was running in]
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
So how did Taylor do?
Marcy Hill:
He lost. He came in sixth.
Benson DuBois:
How did he come in sixth? There were only five candidates.
Marcy Hill:
There was a large write-in for "None of the above".
Pete Downey:
I'll never be a hero. I had a chance once. Janine's cat was drowning in the pool and I jumped in to save it. But when I realized I had to give it mouth-to-mouth, I threw it back in.
Gretchen:
So, all we have to do is knock a hole in the wall and let the sunshine in.
Benson DuBois:
Why don't you knock a hole in your head and let some brains in.
Marcy Hill:
Clipper ship bound for Spain, all that gold and Phillipe. How romantic. I hope the ship sank.
Benson DuBois:
[after Denise tells him she's pregnant] You're gonna make a terrific mother. And Pete will make a fine... playmate for the child.
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III:
You heard it from the horse's mouth.
Benson DuBois:
And now we're hearing it from the other end.
[Benson meets Kraus for the first time]
Gretchen:
You are getting muddy footprints all over my clean floor and it is disgusting!
Benson DuBois:
Fine, I'll walk on my hands.
[Benson meets the governor for the first time]
Marcy Hill:
Governor Gatling, I'd like to introduce...
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
Introduce? Oh, this man needs no introduction. I'd know the Reverend Jesse Jackson anywhere.
[Benson is at home when the phone rings]
Benson DuBois:
[answering the phone] Hello? Oh, hi, governor. Sure, you can come over. All right, see you then. Bye.
[Benson hangs up. A few seconds later, the doorbell rings. Benson answers it to find the governor at the door]
Benson DuBois:
What'd you do? Beam over?
[Benson walks into the governor's office]
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
Benson, I must be psychic. I was just thinking of you and here you are.
Benson DuBois:
Governor, you sent for me.
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
Oh. That's probably why I was thinking of you.
Gretchen:
I'm going out and have myself a wild time.
Benson DuBois:
Don't forget your library card.
Chapman:
Mister DeBasie?
Benson DuBois:
Dubois, Senator. I think you had me confused with COUNT DeBasie.
Pete Downey:
Hi, Denise. Whatcha reading?
Denise Florence Stevens Downey:
It's a magazine article that uses the quantum theory to describe infinity.
Pete Downey:
Is it any good?
Denise Florence Stevens Downey:
Yeah, but it goes on forever.
Benson DuBois:
[Benson is firing a pain-in-the-neck staffer] It hasn't been sweet, but hallelujah, it's been short.
Gretchen:
You insult my cooking. You insult my looks. You insult the way I dress...
Benson DuBois:
Did I miss something?
[the snowplowers are on strike]
Benson DuBois:
Why don't we call out the National Guard for this?
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
We can't. I sent them to New Mexico for desert training.
Clayton Runnymede Endicott III:
Desert training? There's no desert around here!
Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling:
I know. That's why I sent them to New Mexico.
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