advertisement The Balladeer: [opening song] Just the good ole' boys / Never meanin' no harm / Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born / Straightenin' the curves / Flattenin' the hills / Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will / Makin' their way the only way they know how / That's just a little bit more than the law will allow / Just the good ole' boys / Wouldn't change if they could / Fightin' the system like a true-modern day Robin Hood. Bo & Luke: [shout] Yee-haw! [repeated line] Cooter Davenport: Breaker One, Breaker One, I might be crazy, but I ain't dumb! Craaazy Cooter comin' at ya! Ya'll out there on the Hazzard net? [repeated line] Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Enos! This is your superior officer RosCOOOOOOOOO P. Coltrane! [repeated line] Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: OOOOOOH! I'm in "Hot Pursuit!" [giggle] Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: I love it! I love it! Bo Duke: Daisy Duke, if you wasn't my cousin, I'd marry you! Daisy Duke: Never stopped anybody in this family before. Deputy Enos Strate: Possum on a gumbush! Jefferson Davis 'Boss' Hogg: Roscoe, arrest them Duke boys! [repeated line] Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ohhh! That was a *horrendous* crash! [Bo, Luke and Cooter, in the President's stolen limosine, are being chased by the bad guys] Bo Duke: We'll be okay, unless we have to stop for gas, again! There wasn't much more'n a gallon in that gas can. Luke Duke: In a one-gallon gas can. Huh. Bo Duke: I cannot believe I just said that. Deputy Cletus Hogg: Aww, buzzard on a buzzsaw! Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE! Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: I'm gonna cuff ya an' stuff ya! Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Ya dun *scuffed* my ve-hicle! Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: [Daisy has just left the Sheriff's office, and Enos is gazing longingly after her] [Roscoe notices] Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: What's wrong with you, boy? Look at you, staring at Daisy Duke with *lust* in your heart! The Balladeer: [Roscoe is trying to spy on the Dukes, carrying some shrubbery] And here comes Roscoe, cleverly disguised as a *tree*! The Balladeer: [Boss Hogg is about to enter what he thinks is Uncle Jesse's moonshine in an environmental contest] Right now, ole' Boss is happier than a hog knee-deep in slop. Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: Say Hello from Roscoe! Bo Duke: They're shooting at us. Luke Duke: What do you expect them to do, throw darts?