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Carry on Emmannuelle
(1978)
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Emile Prevert:
I can't straighten anything. I'm completely bent.
Emile Prevert:
Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
I don't want Tom or Harry!
Mrs. Dangle:
Gordon Bennett, they're having a phonographic orgy.
Immigration Officer:
What is your purpose of your visit to the United Kingdom?
Emmannuelle Prevert:
To make some friends with ze British.
Immigration Officer:
Is the purpose of your visit business or pleasure?
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Pleasure... definitely.
[Lyons, the butler, meets the Emmannuelle for the first time. She turns up to surprise her husband at the French Ambassador's Residence in Central London]
Lyons:
Can I help you?
Emmannuelle Prevert:
I am your mistress.
Lyons:
Oh my gawd!
[Panicked, he slams the door. Pause, to himself:]
Lyons:
I don't have a mistress!
[Opening the door again:]
Lyons:
I don't have a mistress.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
You have now! To begin with you can tell the Ambassador that his wife is here!
Emile Prevert:
Please excuse my masculine odour, I have been pumping iron.
Emile Prevert:
Cheri, Loins...
Lyons:
His excellency meant Lyons, madam. My name is Lyons.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
I prefer Loins.
Lyons:
Likewise, madam.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Turn over!
Emile Prevert:
No, no! I don't like.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Emile, I am a woman. I am your wife; you should not have to hide anyway from me.
Emile Prevert:
There's not much to hide!
Theodore Valentine:
Mother, I've met someone who is very dear to me.
Mrs. Valentine:
Was it your Auntie Hilda, dear?
Theodore Valentine:
No, mother, I met this girl, this wonderful girl.
Mrs. Valentine:
Don't be silly, dear, there's no such thing.
Theodore Valentine:
I think I'm in love.
Mrs. Valentine:
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26
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Nonsense, you're far too young.
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cfb
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Theodore Valentine:
I'm thirty-four. And a half.
Mrs. Valentine:
You've got your whole life in front of you, you don't want to fritter it away on some slip of a girl!
Theodore Valentine:
She's exquisite, I know you'd like her.
Mrs. Valentine:
I wouldn't count on it, dear.
Theodore Valentine:
I want to marry her.
Mrs. Valentine:
Nonsense, I'd never give you my permission.
Theodore Valentine:
I don't need your permission, mother.
Mrs. Valentine:
You're just like your father! He went off with some slip of a girl and he didn't ask my permission either!
Emmannuelle Prevert:
They are very sexy, these guards.
Leyland:
When they get a butcher's at you, dear, you'll need to be on guard.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
What is the matter with them? They never even looked at me!
Leyland:
Well, they're not allowed to, not on duty. Do you know, you could strip in front of one of them and they wouldn't bat an eyelid.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
We will see about that. Take me to St. James' palace, Leyland.
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Nudity is perfectly natural.
Emile Prevert:
No, no! Even Adam and Eve had a fig leaf.
Emile Prevert:
I was saying, my wife is a beter diplomat than I!
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Yes, I have it off with everybody!
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Er... she means hit it off, she means she hits it off with everybody!
The Prime Minister:
What were you doing in the far east, my dear?
Emmannuelle Prevert:
Sleeping around mostly.
Emile Prevert:
Er... she means sleeping around in many parts of the world.
Mrs. Dangle:
As anyone knows, laundrettes are better than a pub if your after a pick-up.
Harry Hernia:
I'm determined to go out with a bang!
Emmannuelle Prevert:
That's exactly what I had in mind...
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