Lou Peckinpaugh, the Cheap detective has entered a world that is half Casablanca and half Maltese Falcon. A parody of Bogart's films in whic...更多>
This signature's been tampered with. Your name isn't Denise Manderley, is it?
Mrs. Montenegro: No. It's Wanda Coleman. Lou Peckinpaugh: Then why does your driver's license say Gilda Dabney? Mrs. Montenegro: I believe my life is in danger; that's why I've taken so many precautions. My real name is... Chloe Lamar. Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, thank you, Miss Lamar. I appreciate your honesty. Now can you tell me why you let yourself in with this passkey to search my office? What is it that you were looking for? Mrs. Montenegro: Uh, to be perfectly frank, your bathroom. Lou Peckinpaugh: I don't have any. Mrs. Montenegro: Yes! I found that out a little too late... Lou Peckinpaugh: All right, can we stop playing games now? It isn't Manderley, or Coleman, or Dabney, or even Lamar, is it? The initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for? Mrs. Montenegro: Alma Chalmers. Lou Peckinpaugh: Chalmers begins with a C! This is a P! Mrs. Montenegro: Palmers. Alma Palmers. Lou Peckinpaugh: You give me the runaround one more time and I'm going to slap you around this office. I don't care what your name is any more. Just make one up, so I know what to call you! Mrs. Montenegro: Vivian Purcell. Lou Peckinpaugh: That's better. Mrs. Montenegro: Armen Montenegro. That's my last one, I promise! Marlene DuChard: I now know that what was, was, and can never be was again. Lou Peckinpaugh: Your husband's dead a little over an hour and you're already dressed in black? How long you had that outfit waiting in the closet? Georgia Merkle: You're wrong. I just bought it. There's an all-night widow shop at Fifth and Geary. Lou Peckinpaugh: Are you sure the police didn't follow you here? Georgia Merkle: I'm positive. They came with me. [the door opens and the police come in] Lou Peckinpaugh: This is definitely our last date, Georgia. Lieutenant DiMaggio: Mind answering a few questions downtown, Lou? Lou Peckinpaugh: We *are* downtown. Lieutenant DiMaggio: [thinks a moment] Then this will be fine. Lieutenant DiMaggio: What did you and Merkle argue about last Monday night? Georgia Merkle: It's all right. Tell them, darling. Lou Peckinpaugh: Don't call me darling in front of the police with a dead husband. Lou Peckinpaugh: Being a private eye may not be much, but we do have a code of honor. It's all right to fool around with your partner's wife, but once he's dead it makes it all so dirty. That's the way it is, angel. You marry yourself a nice guy, have a couple of swell kids. Once you're all set up and happy, maybe we can fool around again. Betty DeBoop:
Hello, Fred, I was hoping you'd drop by.