A rich housewife murders her husband with the help of her overweight maid, and the two go on the run, ending up in Mortville, a town providi...更多>
: Hello? What number are you calling? You've dialed the wrong number! Sorry? What good is that? How can you ever repay the last thirty seconds you have stolen from my life? I hate you, your husband, your children, and your relatives! Peggy Gravel: Have I gone to Hell? Is that it? Have I gone straight to Hell? [after Mole's penis is cut off] Mole McHenry: Now I won't have any organs! It'll be like having a Barbie doll crotch! Peggy Gravel: Go home to your mother! Doesn't she ever want you? Tell her this isn't some communist daycare center! Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I hate you! Flipper: You lazy bitch! I'm out working my tail off all day, and you're in there, fuckin' MIDGETS! Peggy Gravel: Go ahead, feel her up! Just like you did to me! Find em, feel em, fuck em, forget em... is THAT your new motto? Grizelda Brown: Zip that gaping hole of a mouth up, Peggy, before I plug it up with my fist. Peggy Gravel: You're just like all the rest of the common dykes in this town! Queen Carlotta: [surveying her subjects as they participate in her own self-enforced "Backwards Day"] Look at those dummies! Hey, moron! You got your clothes on backwards! Ha ha ha! Oh, God, this is fun! Hi, stupid! Hi, ugly! Shotsie: Ewww, that senile old cunt! Mole McHenry: I wish I had a rifle with a telescopic lens. Flipper: I'd help you pull the trigger, Mole! Muffy St. Jacques: Squeaky Fromme, where are you when we need you? Peggy Gravel: Why did you tell me to come this way, Grizelda? You know I hate nature! Look at those disgusting trees, stealing my oxygen. Oh, I can't stand this scenery another minute. All natural forests should be turned into housing developments! I want cement covering every blade of grass in this nation. Don't we taxpayers have a voice anymore? Motorcycle Cop: I'd like to stick my whole head in your mouth and let you suck out my eyeballs! Muffy St. Jacques: [recalling why she ended up on the lam in Mortville] You see, I wasn't always like this. Oh, I mean I was always stunningly beautiful, but I was married once, to a man, and I had a little baby name Freddy. It all started one evening when my husband and I were coming home from a cocktail party... Muffy St. Jacques: [finding her babysitter nude in bed with a boy] OH MY GOD, what are you doing? Where's my Freddy? Babysitter: How should I know, I'm trippin'. Muffy St. Jacques: TRIPPUN? Babysitter: I think I left him in the kitchen! Muffy St. Jacques: The KITCHUN? Queen Carlotta: Every word I ever utter shall be considered a royal proclamation! Flipper: Men are such cun
ts. Princess Coo-Coo: Oh Herbert, we're safe now. I'm sorry I had to drag you all that way, but those silly nudists wanted to BURY you! Oh I love you too, my darling- Mother can't hurt us now. We'll get married tonight. You don't look so well, I hope you perk up for our honeymoon! Queen Carlotta: Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch! Take it off! Come on, let's see some ass! Yeah! Yeah! Strip faster! Let's see some private areas! Ohhhh I see London, I see France!! Spread those legs, baby! I want meat and potatoes! Yeahhhh! A Hollywood loaf!!! Yessssirrreee! Come on over here with that thing! You're a wicked little boy getting me all heated up, aren't you?!! I'm going to have to give you a spanking!! Bosley Jr.: [Kids are in the attic playing doctor] Breathe hard. Do it again. Beth: [Giggles as she breathes] Let me do it to you. Peggy Gravel: [Enters room and goes berserk when she sees the kids] SODOMITES! [Rushes to them] Peggy Gravel: CAUGHT RIGHT IN A SEX ORGY! FILTHY! DIRTY! FILTHY! Bosley Jr.: [Crying] We're only playing! Peggy Gravel: [Slapping them] Is that what you learned in private school!!? Beth: Don't, Mother, we're only playing! Peggy Gravel: [Hysterically to herself] NUDE! NUDE! NUDE! [Suddenly seriously] Peggy Gravel: You could be pregnant, Beth! [To Bosley, Jr.] Peggy Gravel: And YOU... I never thought you'd rape your own sister! [Suddenly wildly, to no one in particular] Peggy Gravel: OH GOD, THE CHILDREN ARE HAVING SEX!!