Oblivion 2: Backlash (1996) 5.9

Zack Stone: Mr. Gaunt, how do you advise someone when he has to make a difficult decision? They have two choices and they don't like either of them.

34

Gaunt, the undertaker

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: I tell them a third choice is always possible. Zack Stone: Really! Gaunt, the undertaker: Yes, and that's when I bring out the mahogany casket. It's pricier than a pine or a walnut, but it's worth it. Undertaker Gaunt: I bring unfortunate tidings. Your father has met an untimely alleviation of existence. Zack Stone: What? Undertaker Gaunt: He's dead! Sweeney: You're straight-forward, Marshal. I like a man after my own heart. Well, actually, not always. Once there was a man after my own heart, and I had to strangle him with his own intestines. Lash: You better watch your mouth, Crawley, or I'll put a window in your head! Zack Stone: Now don't get me wrong. I have great respect for women like you and Miss Kitty who manage to maintain their dignity and their loneliness in a hellhole like Oblivion. I want you to know that I am here for you... as your Marshal, as your friend, or anything else you damn well need me to be. Mattie Chase: Zack, I haven't had sex in three years. Crowley: What's the night worth to you anyway, Lash, huh? You and me naked, horizontal and sweaty, huh? [slurps] Crowley: You're gonna love this. [Unzips his pants] Crowley: Did the tatooin' myself. Lash: Isn't that a little... difficult, to read? Crowley: Nothing a little "romance" couldn't enlarge.