Rumson: You show me in them commandments where it says a woman cain't have two husbands. Pardner: There AIN'T no commandment like that. Ben Rumson: Grace, I give you the boy. Give me back the man. Ben Rumson: Now, don't tell me you've never been with a woman. Horton: No, sir I haven't. Ben Rumson: Well, that, that's terrible! Did you know you could go blind? Mrs. Fenty: You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson. Ben Rumson: I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty. Mrs. Fenty: Didn't that discourage you about drinking? Ben Rumson: No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'! Ben Rumson: There's two kinds of people, them goin' somewhere and them goin' nowhere. And that's what's true. Horace Tabor: Wait a minute! You can't buy a woman for money. Mad Jack Duncan: You just try and get one without it. Mad Jack Duncan: All right. [grabs Jacob Woodling by the beard] Mad Jack Duncan: What about it Mormons? Sarah Woodling: [whispering] Jacob. We need every penny, Jacob. And I can't bear another day of those martyred looks. There. There it is again! Elizabeth: This isn't a martyred look, Sarah. This look is puuuure - hatred. Jacob Woodling: Quiet! Brigham Young has twenty seven wives and he hasn't had half the trouble with them that I've had with the two of you! Elizabeth: Then simplify your life, Jacob. Sell me. Jacob Woodling: But Elizabeth: you don't know what you'll get. Elizabeth: I know what I've had. Haywood Holbrook:
Dearly beloved. We have gathered together to grant this man, Ben Rumson, exclusive title to this woman, Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling, and to all her mineral resources. I have drawn up this Record of Claim which here and henceforth will be recognized as a certificate of marriage. So I ask you Ben, do you recognize this claim as a contract of marriage and do you take this woman to love honor and cherish?
Pardner: [after long silence] Oh, he does. Haywood Holbrook: Elizabeth Woodling, do you take this man, Ben Rumson, to love, honor and obey him until death do you part. Pardner: She does. Haywood Holbrook: I now pronounce you claimed and filed as Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson. Miner: Hey, Ben! These men came all the way from Fiddler's Camp, just to see your wife. Ben Rumson: Well, looks like I married myself a tourist attraction. Pardner: Ben, how's married life? Ben Rumson: Pardner, it was so good that I forgot that I was married. Horace Tabor: Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson, that we knock out the stage driver, steal a coach, and kidnap six women? Ben Rumson: Sounds better every time I hear it. Ben Rumson: Howdy Parson, welcome to HELL! [Ben and Partner are walking through the mining camp] Ben Rumson: Hi, Willy! How're things goin'? 'Rotten Luck'Willie: I ain't won a hand in two weeks. Ben Rumson: (to Partner) They call him 'Rotten Luck' Willie. You couldn't beat him with five aces. Pardner: Oh, I don't gamble. Ben Rumson: Neither does he. [On the fact that the Mormon settler has two wives] Mad Jack: I got no quarrel with 'ow a man prays; there's enough room in 'ell for all of us! Wot I don't like is that you got two of somethin' the rest of us got none of! [Introduction to the song "They Call the Wind Mariah"] Mad Jack Duncan: It's a living hell up here. What with the bloody rain, the bloody loneliness, and that bloody, bloody wind. Pardner: You're diggin' a hole. Mad Jack: Hey, you don't miss a trick, do yah? Horton: Mr. Rumson, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. I hope that means except my father and mother. Ben Rumson: That means especially your father and mother. Horton: But I've never kept anything from them before. Ben Rumson: Well, it's time you started. Because when you do, a whole new world opens up. Elizabeth: Did you know that the Fenty's had an apple farm back in Pennsylvania? Ben Rumson: Apple jack, huh? Mr. Fenty: No, sir, we did not make apple jack! Ben Rumson: Then, what did you grow the apples for? Mr. Fenty: Mr. Rumson, do you think that everything that comes out of the earth should be used to make liquor? Ben Rumson: Whenever possible, yes.
[shouted from clifftop to riverbed and back, very slowly]