Biddle: Nurse I dreamt about you last night. Nurse Clarke: Did you? Biddle: No, you wouldn't let me. Dr James Kilmore: Just as I thought. You fell on your coccyx. Francis Bigger: I did not. I fell on my back. Dr James Kilmore: Your coccyx is at the base of the spine. Francis Bigger: Well I've never heard it called that before. [Kilmore backpedals straight into Matron in the hospital corridor] Matron: [Takes thermometer out of her pocket now shaped like a boomerang] That's the third one this week. Dr James Kilmore: Well Matron you can still use it on people who are a bit round the bend. [Mr. Bigger has just been ly knocked off the gurney he was lying on by the eternally clumsy Dr. Kilmore. Bigger lies hurt on the floor] Nurse Parkin: Mr Bigger, whatever are you doing down there? Francis Bigger: Waiting for a number 13 Bus! Dr. Tinkle: It's an enigma Matron. An enigma. Mr. Roper: I'm not having another one of those. [On removal of the patient's bandages, he is invisible] Dr. Tinkle: Oh. I still don't like the look of him. Charlie Roper: What they brought you in here for then. Francis Bigger: Oh just some pain in the back. Its a ooh, ooh dear. Charlie Roper: Last bloke in that bed had the same thing. Francis Bigger: Did he? Charlie Roper: Right up to the end. Francis Bigger: Well that's cheerful. I say one thing for them it's a nice warm bed. Charlie Roper: Should be, they only took him out half an hour ago. Chloe Gibson: Doctor is Mr Bigger going to be alright? Dr. Kenneth Tinkle: Are you his next of kin? Chloe Gibson: Oh no but any day now. Dr. Kenneth Tinkle: What do you mean any day now? Chloe Gibson: Well me and Mr Bigger have had an understanding for a number of years and we are kind of on the verge of you know what I mean! [romantically in the operating theatre to each other in thought and not in voice] Matron: What a wonderful man you are, oh how I love you. Dr. Kenneth Tinkle: Oh how I love you.
Nurse Sandra May
: oh, I thought you might be a man coming in. Nurse Clarke: Sorry to disappoint you. This is my room... Are you a trainee? Nurse Sandra May: Yes, I was told to report to Fosdick ward right away. Say, will Dr. Tinkle be there? Nurse Clarke: Probably, do you know him? Nurse Sandra May: Know Him... [Nurse May reads from a signed photograph] Nurse Sandra May: To darling Sandra, my first date... Nurse Clarke: How nice. Nurse Sandra May: He saved my life, he's terrific he's a life giving doll. Matron: This hospital is getting to small for us Doctor! Dr James Kilmore: Well your not all that big Matron. [following Dr. Tinkle's insistence that Mr Barron attends a Pre Natal class] Mr. Barron: Never again never, from now on it's the pill! Man from Cox & Carter: They don't want rubber sheets, they want straightjackets. Francis Bigger: [seeing the ward sister being carried into the laundry room] Fancy her wearing red ones under all that! Mr. Roper: [on seeing Bigger come out of his room] Get back in there and keep quiet! Francis Bigger: [approaching Roper] Oh. What's this? The revolt of the slaves? Mr. Roper: Something like that. We've got some business to settle with Tinkle! Francis Bigger: [pointing to his room] You want me to stay in there? Never! Up the rebels, and to hell with Burgundy. Mr. Roper: Where? Francis Bigger: Bur-gun-dy!