advertisement Carol Bradford: When we were first married you wanted my meatloaf five nights a week. Roger Bradford: When we were first married there were a lot of things I wanted five nights a week. as Thelma "Mama" Harper: [Vicki improvises a line that was not scripted] You ain't right in the head, Eunice. I think somebody blew your pilot light out! as Eunice Harper: [Carol is caught off guard and quickly turns away trying to compose herself and not fall out of character] That's a *new* one, Mama! as Thelma "Mama" Harper: [without missing a beat] Well, you just wait, there's more! as Eunice Harper: [clasping her hands over her face to hide her laughter] Oh, no! as Thelma "Mama" Harper: You've got splinters in the windmills of your mind! Host, Jim Nabors: [Singing] Took us in a trip in this million dollar chicken coop. Jim Nabors: I'll bet they'd like to put our names up in lights. Host: You could do Shakespeare, you look stunning in tights. Jim Nabors: Watch it. Ed: [playing the game sorry and Eunice is losing] Slliiiiiide! Eunice: Oh, will you shut up! Housekeeper: [After the Cunningham's have entered a scary castle] Go away. For three hundred years, no strange person has been inside this castle. Mrs. Cunningham: You wanna bet? Hallaba: [Is going to tell Mrs. Cunningham's fortune] Your hands please. Your left hand shows your past. Your right hand shows your future. [Mrs. Cunningham gives her her right hand, but Hallaba slaps it away] Hallaba: Give me your left hand. I want to look at your past. Ohhhh! [She covers her mouth, smiling] Mrs. Cunningham: What is it? What do you see? Hallaba: Last night. Moshimomoshivo! Mrs. Cunningham: [Looks embarrassed] What about the future? Hallaba: [Looks at her left hand] Ohhhh! You're a dead duck! Hallaba: You're going to be bitten by a verevolf. Mrs. Cunningham: A verevolf? [Screams] Hallaba: Yes. Bevare the volfman will bite you tonight. Oy, are you gonna get it. Mrs. Cunningham: Oh, no! Is a verevolf bite painful? Hallaba: It's about the same as the bite from a wampire. Gwendolyn: For you had the perfect motive for doing away with father. I know about your gambling debts! Reginald: Just as I know about that nasty little habit you picked up in the Orient. Eh, sister dear. Gwendolyn: [Gasps] No, please don't! You have no idea what hell its been. Kumkwaits have become so expensive. How could I have been so stupid, stupid, stupid?! Caruthers: [The butler, Caruthers, walks in] You called, ma'am? Reginald: No, she didn't call Caruthers. She was discussing her kumkwaits. Reginald: Oh. Well, I'm a leg man myself. Reginald: [To Gwendolyn] Now listen to me, you little fool. As far as everyone is concerned, father's death was purely... Ms. Marble: [Ms. Marble in the background] Murder! Reginald: [Nervous] Murder? Murder, you say? Ms. Marble: [Comes into the living room] Murder, murder, murder. Bloody, bloody murder. Gwendolyn: You mean to say our father was murdered? Ms. Marble: No, I mean to say my girdle is killing me. Reginald: Ms. Marble, I really must insist you stop snooping around. I simply will not tolerate a busybody. Ms. Marble: Busybody? Busybody, you say? My body hasn't been busy in over 40 years.