Jeff and Turkey, two wild and crazy guys adrift on a raft in the Mediterranean, are cast away on a desert shore and hop a convenient camel t...更多>
[Seeing the desert for the first time] Turkey Jackson: This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses. Male Camel: This is the screwiest picture I was ever in. Turkey Jackson: I hope she didn't hear that. The dead have a way of coming back you know. Jeff Peters: Get out, when they're dead they're dead. Turkey Jackson: Not Aunt Lucy, she was a Republican. Jeff Peters: We must storm the place. Turkey Jackson: You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle. Mabel - Lady Camel: Sometimes, when I see how silly people behave, I'm glad I'm a camel. Male Camel: [his eyes rolling suggestively] Aww... I'm glad you're a camel too, Mabel. Turkey Jackson: Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. 'Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing,' she said. 'Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville,' she said. 'No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk,' she said. 'Promise me, Jeff, promise me,' she said. Jeff Peters: Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no. Turkey Jackson: We're going to get married on... uh... when is the big day, Dream Thing? Princess Shalmar: When the moon, in its last quarter, silvers the blossoms of the almond tree. That's Tuesday night, about nine. Turkey Jackson: A fine thing. First, you sell me for two hundred bucks. Then I'm gonna marry the Princess; then you cut in on me. Then we're carried off by a desert sheik. Now, we're gonna have our heads chopped off. Jeff Peters: I know all that. Turkey Jackson: Yeah, but the people who came in the middle of the picture don't. Jeff Peters: You mean they missed my song? [last lines] Turkey Jackson: I can't go on! No food, no water. It's all my fault. We're done for! It's got me. I can't stand it! No food, nothing! No food, no water! No food! Jeff Peters: What's the matter with you, anyway? There's New York. We'll be picked up in a few minutes. Turkey Jackson: You had to open your big mouth and ruin the only good scene I got in the picture. I might have won the Academy Award! Jeff Peters: Orville, where are you? Turkey Jackson: Right over here, behind these goosebumps. Jeff Peters: Turkey, from now on you are sacred, you just became a full-blooded American idiot. Turkey Jackson:
How do you figure on paying for this? Jeff Peters: You've got red blood, ain't you? Turkey Jackson: Yeah, but I don't want to get it all over a stranger. Jeff Peters: Go ahead, eat up son. Turkey Jackson: Those guys don't monkey around, they've got knives, they're liable to try and get the food back the hard way. Turkey Jackson: You can't sell me, you don't own me. Jeff Peters: Not now - he does [pointing at Arabs] Jeff Peters: . Hyder Khan: Do you know him? [pointing at Crosby] Turkey Jackson: Well I used to but I kinda outgrew him, I don't dally with riff-raff these days and he's a pretty riffy kind of raff.