The Great Man:
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
Waitress:
You're as funny as a cry for help.
His Niece:
We're falling 2,000 feet!
The Great Man:
It's all right, dear. Don't start worrying 'til we get down 1, The last foot is dangerous.
The Great Man:
You're about to fall heir to a kitten's stocking.
Heckler:
What's a kitten's stocking?
The Great Man:
A sock on the puss.
The Great Man:
How'd you like to hide the egg and gurgitate a few saucers of mocha java?
Waitress:
And another thing. Don't be so free with your hands.
The Great Man:
Listen, honey. I was only trying to guess your weight. You take things too seriously.
Receptionist:
Some day you'll drown in a vat of whiskey!
The Great Man:
Drown in a vat of whiskey. Death, where is thy sting?
Stewardess:
Shall I get you a bromo?
The Great Man:
No, I couldn't stand the noise.
His Niece:
Why didn't you ever marry?
The Great Man:
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
The Producer:
This script is an insult to a man's intelligence. Even mine.
The Great Man:
Suffering sciatica!
The Great Man:
[in the soda fountain] I feel as though somebody stepped on my tongue with muddy feet.
[to the camera]
The Great Man:
This scene's supposed to be in a saloon but the censor cut it out. It'll play just as well this way.
Motorcycle Cop:
Where do you think you're going, to a fire?
The Great Man:
Ah... Ah... maternity hospital.
Motorcycle Cop:
Okay, Tomato-Puss, follow me.
His Niece:
[as things turn into chaos, at Fields' instigation, shaking her head] My uncle Bill...
[then, resolute]
His Niece:
But I still love him!
Ouliotta Delight Hemogloben:
Do you think he drinks?
Mrs. Hemogloben:
He didn't get that nose from playing ping-pong.
Ouliotta Delight Hemogloben:
Are you really a man?
The Great Man:
Well, I've been called other things...
The Great Man:
Have, uh, you any imported cigars?
Waitress:
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'Stingeroos', four for a nickel.
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The Great Man:
Oh, that's fine. As long as they're imported.
[she holds out box of cigars, he takes four]
The Great Man:
You know, if anybody ever comes in here and gives you a ten dollar tip... uh, scrutinize it carefully. There's a lot of that counterfeit money going around.
[she holds out her hand for the money for the cigars]
The Great Man:
I'll give you the dough. Don't...
[puts a coin in her hand]
The Great Man:
Here... there.
Waitress:
If I get any counterfeit nickels or pennies, I'll know where they came from
Ouliotta Delight Hemogloben:
The only game I've ever played is bean-bag.
The Great Man:
Bean-bag... ah, it's very good. Becomes very exciting at times. I saw the championship played in Paris; many people were killed.
[they're in the basket trying to figure out how to get it pulled up to the mountaintop - a rock falls on his head]
His Niece:
Did it hurt you, uncle?
The Great Man:
No... how could a rock dropping from a thousand feet hurt your head?复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
