Embezzler, shill, all around confidence man S. Quentin Quale (Groucho) is heading west to find his fortune; he meets the crafty but simple b...更多>
S. Quentin Quale: I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure.
S. Quentin Quale
: You love your brother, don't you? Joseph Panello: No, but I'm used to him. Red Baxter: I don't like your faces. S. Quentin Quale: I suppose you think we like 'em. S. Quentin Quale: Lulubelle, it's you! I didn't recognize you standing up. [Arriving at the RR Station] S. Quentin Quale: Any of you boys got change ah ten cents? Porter: No. S. Quentin Quale: Well, keep the baggage. [as Quale destroys Rusty's first hat] Joseph Panello: Hey whataya do with that hat; that hat cost a lotta money. S. Quentin Quale: How much did it cost him? Joseph Panello: I dunno; he stole it. [Indicating a gag around the train engineer's mouth] S. Quentin Quale: Didya know this is the best gag in the picture? [Chico suggests telephoning for help] S. Quentin Quale: Telephone? This is 1870. Don Ameche hasn't invented the telephone yet! S. Quentin Quale: There's something corrupt going on around my pants but I just can't seem to locate it. S. Quentin Quale: Madam why is that baby constantly crying? Mother on Stagecoach: He can't stand the jerks in the coach. S. Quentin Quale: I give you my solemn word as an embezzler I'll be back in ten minutes. S. Quentin Quale: There's only one law in the west: the law of blood and bullets. It's either shoot or be shot. What are we gonna do? Joseph Panello: Sue 'em! Joseph Panello: My father-a shot the Indians in eighteen forty-two S. Quentin Quale: Oh, he should-a shot the stork-a, when the stork-a brought-a you. S. Quentin Quale: You know there's a drunk sitting at the first table who looks exactly like you? And one who looks exactly like me. Dull, isn't it? S. Quentin Quale: Didn't we meet at Monte Carlo the night you blew your brains out? S. Quentin Quale: [dramatically] Suppose I brought you back to my native land. What- what would my people say? Drunk in Saloon: Burp. S. Quentin Quale: Well, they'd phrase it more delicately. S. Quentin Quale: Time wounds all heels. S. Quentin Quale: You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.