[Taking a pulse]
Dr. Hackenbush:
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Dr. Hackenbush:
If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar.
Mrs. Upjohn:
Vassar? But that's a girls' college.
Dr. Hackenbush:
I found that out the third year. I'd 've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team.
Whitmore:
Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Oh, you've taken them before.
Mrs. Upjohn:
Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?
Dr. Hackenbush:
You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.
Whitmore:
May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?
Dr. Hackenbush:
Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.
[Stuffy blows a balloon during a medical exam]
Dr. Hackenbush:
If that's his adam's apple, he's got yellow fever.
Tony:
He's got in-grown balloons.
[Tony offers Dr. Hackenbush a hint book]
Tony:
One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.
Dr. Hackenbush:
That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had.
[Hackenbush is asked to 'OK' a file]
Dr. Hackenbush:
I'm too busy right now. I'll tell you what. I'll put the 'O' on now and come back later for the 'K.'
Flo:
Oh doctor. Thank you.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Thank "yu". Do you like gardenias?
Flo:
I adore them. How did you know?
Dr. Hackenbush:
I didn't, so I got you forget-me-nots. One whiff of this and you'll forget everything.
[Hackenbush hands her a wilted sunflower. He seats her and pushes in her chair at the table]
Flo:
Thank you.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Thank "yu".
Flo:
[handing him her wrap] Do you mind?
Dr. Hackenbush:
Not at all. I always take the wrap.
Tony:
She's in with Whitmore. She's trying to frame you.
Flo:
Why, I've never been so insulted in my life!
[Hackenbush looks at his watch]
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:
Well, it's early yet.
Dr. Hackenbush:
It's the old, old story. Boy meets girl - Romeo and Juliet - Minneapolis and St. Paul!
Mrs. Upjohn:
Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
Dr. Leopold X. Steinberg:
There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
Dr. Hackenbush:
You don't look as though you've ever met a healthy woman.
Gil:
Are you a man or a mouse?
Dr. Hackenbush:
You put a piece of cheese down there and you'll find out.
Dr. Hackenbush:
[to Dr. Steinberg] Don't point that beard at me! It might go off!
Dr. Hackenbush:
Emily, I have a confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me, and I'll never look at another horse.
Tony:
Have you got a woman in here?
Dr. Hackenbush:
If I haven't, I've wasted 30 minutes of valuable time.
Tony:
Have you got a woman in here?
Dr. Hackenbush:
If I haven't, I've wasted thirty minutes of valuable time.
Tony:
Well, that's-a fine. Now we owe the Sheriff a hundred and twenty dollars and a sock.
Tony:
Hey doc, can you see us?
Dr. Hackenbush:
If I can't there's something wrong with my glasses.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Dr. Hackenbush:
[examining Stuffy with an auriscope]
Dr. Hackenbush:
I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde.
Tony:
Told you he was sick.
Dr. Hackenbush:
[pointing to Stuffy's neck] That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%.
Tony:
That's bad.
Dr. Hackenbush:
With a 1% mentality.
[Stuffy grins]
Dr. Hackenbush:
He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at.
Tony:
Hey doc. Hey doc!
Dr. Hackenbush:
Huh?
Tony:
You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Here's a ten-dollar bill and shoot the change, will you?
Tony:
I got-a no change. I'll have to give you nine more books.
[Stuffy has grabbed some poison to drink]
Dr. Hackenbush:
Hey, don't drink that poison! That's $00 an ounce!
Dr. Hackenbush:
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
[Dr. Hackenbush is pointing to a portrait of one of Judy's parents]
Dr. Hackenbush:
You know, I proposed to your mother once.
Judy:
But that's my father!
Dr. Hackenbush:
No wonder he turned me down.
[Stuffy is getting an examination]
Dr. Hackenbush:
Say "ah!"
[Stuffy opens his mouth, but says nothing]
Dr. Hackenbush:
Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing]
Dr. Hackenbush:
Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing. Dr. Hackenbush starts to leave]
Tony:
What are you doing?
Dr. Hackenbush:
I'm going to get my ears checked. I'm deaf.
Tony:
You're not deaf. It's just him.
[Talking about Stuffy]
Tony:
I think he's a ubangi.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Well, I'll get a hammer and "ubangi" that right off.
[referring to Ms. Marlowe]
Dr. Hackenbush:
You've got it all wrong. This is my aunt. She's come to talk over some old family matters.
Tony:
I wish I had an aunt look like that.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Well, take it up with your uncle.
Mrs. Upjohn:
[who has been instructed by Dr Hackenbush to wave her arms up and down, as part of a physical examination] How long do you want me to do this, Doctor?
Dr. Hackenbush:
Just until you fly away.
[after taking his watch from under Steinberg's gaze and tossing it in a wash basin]
Dr. Hackenbush:
I'd rather have it rusty than missing.
Dr. Hackenbush:
I haven't seen so much mudslinging since the last election!
Dr. Hackenbush:
And I've got a question for you: Steinberg, what do you do with your old razor blades?
Tony:
[disgused as an ice cream vendor] You wanna something hot?
Dr. Hackenbush:
Not now, I just ate. Besides I don't like hot ice cream.
[Tony is selling Hackenbush one book after another at the race track]
Tony:
Well, justa by accident I think I gotta one right here.
Dr. Hackenbush:
A lotta accidents around here for a quiet neighborhood.
Tony:
We come to hang the paper.
Dr. Hackenbush:
How about hanging yourselves?
Whitmore:
The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic.
Whitmore:
Ah, and what happened?
Dr. Hackenbush:
I got the flu.
Tony:
[to Stuffy] Morgan fired you, huh? He wanted you to throw the race?
Gil:
Wanted Stuffy to be crooked, eh?
Tony:
Yeah, you know he's honest!
[Stuffy's hand starts to creep into ice cream cart - Tony slams the lid of his down onto it]
Tony:
He's honest, but you gotta watch him a little.
Tony:
Hey, boss! C'mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!
Dr. Hackenbush:
I notice he wins all the time.
Tony:
Aw, just because he comes in first.
Dr. Hackenbush:
Well, I don't want 'em any better than first.
Tony:
Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
Judy:
If you'll excuse me, I'll go and bring in the rest of the staff.
Dr. Hackenbush:
[to Whitmore] Why don't you go out and bring in something. Preferably your resignation.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
