[Homestar sees Bubs floating in midair, a few inches above the ground]
Homestar Runner:
Oh man, that is so fake. Seriously. You can totally see the strings!
[Strong Bad sings the song for The Cheat's day on his fake Scandinavian I.D]
Strong Bad:
[singing] Sweet, sweet The Cheat, today is the day on your fake I.D. Now, get upstairs - unh! - and fix me some breakfast.
[Strong Bad is working part-time at Bubs' Concession Stand, but is running late for work. Bubs catches him]
Bubs:
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Late again, Strong Bad? I'm not running a country club, you know.
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Strong Bad:
But Mr. Bubs, I was just...
Bubs:
Wastin' time with that email show of yours again? That mess'll *never* get you anywhere!
Strong Bad:
Yes it will! You'll see! I'm gonna be big one day. I'm gonna be a famous email checker!
Bubs:
And I'm gonna be two times two. Now put on your uniform and get to work!
Strong Bad:
You're gonna be what?
Strong Bad:
[Reading a snail mail] Dear Mr. Bad, This constitutes your final warning. Please remit payment of $62 or you will be turned over to a "cut off your toes" -style collections agency. Swarthily, Bubs' Concession Stand
Strong Bad:
[stops reading; pretending to be scared] Oh no, final warning. Is there nothing I can do to dissuade you? Like maybe give you a ride in my BMW?
[He yanks out a BMW cigarette lighter and burns the letter to an ash; he laughs hysterically]
Strong Bad:
Um... where's my house?
[Strong Sad is talking to Strong Mad]
Strong Sad:
Oh, I disagree! I think it's more than just a matter of simple economics. In fact, I'd say...
[as radio personality, the Deathly Pallor]
Strong Sad:
Oh, yeah! What's the phrase that pays that plays for days? It's numbitty-nine-oh-two, "The Sturge." Don't you touch that
[quickly]
Strong Sad:
blabittablough!
Strong Mad:
[confused] Blabittablough?
[Stinkoman is kneeling on the ground next to a hole]
Stinkoman:
Oh man, those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. Maybe the next one will be better.
[Stinkoman sticks his hand in the hole where it makes an audible clanging sound against an unseen object]
Stinkoman:
WHAT is this? Some sort of a challenge buried in the GROUND?
[Stinkoman snatches a red and white capsule out of the hole. It opens with a "froosh" sound effect and a cassette tape is revealed]
Stinkoman:
Lookie here! A power crunch!
[He grabs the tape and eats it]
Stinkoman:
It tastes like a number one jam!
[Stinkoman suddenly stands and bulks up, making the cliché powering-up sound]
E-mail:
[With Strong Bad reading] YO Yo Strongbad, Hey Strongbad...
Strong Bad:
Well, which is it? 'Yo yo' or 'Hey' Strong Bad? I mean, the outcome of the rest of this whole email hinges on the decision made...
[continues reading without skipping a beat as though it doesn't matter anymore]
Strong Bad:
I was wondering if you have ever made Homestar cry. DJ Solerous Australia
Strong Bad:
[typing and speaking] Whoa! THE DJ Solerous? What an honor! I saw you spin in a warehouse in Canberra
[He pronounces it as can-BEAR-uh]
Strong Bad:
a few years back! Uh, no wait. I lied. I, nor anyone else, have ever heard of DJ Smoldyface.
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:
[to Strong Bad, but ignoring him; talking quietly] I want my own cartoon, Strong Bad.
Strong Bad:
What? I'm over here!
Homestar Runner:
[still quietly] Oh.
[He faces Strong Bad]
Homestar Runner:
I want my own cartoon, Pom Pom.
Strong Bad:
Homestar, a cartoon starring you would be horrible. It'd just be you saying "Sewiously" all the time and acting like a moron... all the time.
Homestar Runner:
No, no. Not no more. I got a new catchphrase.
Strong Bad:
No.
Homestar Runner:
You wanna hear it?
Strong Bad:
No!
Homestar Runner:
I'd be all the time sayin' "That's bupkis!"
[whispering]
Homestar Runner:
Oh, sorry. "That's bupkis!"
Strong Bad:
What're ya whispering for?
Homestar Runner:
[whisepring] Because Baby Strong Sad is *sleeping*.
Strong Bad:
Now you see this disgusting little chit-chat we're having here? THIS is what your cartoon would be like.
[Strong Bad is giving a free motivational lecture to Coach Z and Strong Mad]
Strong Bad:
You gots to look *inside* yourself! Positate the negative! When life throws pies at ya, you make yourself a tall, cool glass of piemonade.
Coach Z:
I'm a new man!
Strong Mad:
I'm the hump!
[It's nighttime and Homsar had been superglued, upside-down, to Marzipan by Strong Bad and his posse, as a prank. A wolf howls]
Marzipan:
Oooh, I think I hear wolves coming.
Homsar:
I'm the human wedgie!
[His bowler hat falls off and lands on Marzipan's dress]
[During the audio commentary for "montage"]
Matt Chapman:
Listen...
Strong Bad:
Actress Marzipan...
Matt Chapman:
And we've got Marzipan right here with us!
[Mike says something indecipherable]
Marzipan:
Yeah!
Matt Chapman:
He called you an actress. Isn't that nice?
Marzipan:
Yeah!
Matt Chapman:
Seems like usually he calls you something worse than that.
Marzipan:
Yeah!
[Mike and Matt both laugh]
Mike Chapman:
You're doing a good job acting right now, saying the word "yeah" over and over again.
Marzipan:
Thank you.
Matt Chapman:
Oh, thank you. A new word.
[Strong Bad shows a dream sequence in which he is about to check the email of his dreams, or his "dreamail". He boots up his latest computer, the Lappy 486, and it talks to him in a female voice]
Lappy 486:
Good morning, Strong Bad. You're looking prooty hot. You have one unread messages.
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:
Well, thank you, Lappy. You're looking prooty hot too. On screen!
E-mail:
[with Strong Bad reading] Dear Mssr. Eleganté, you left your pocketwatch in the hot tub. When will you be back to retrieve it? -128 Hot Katies
Strong Bad:
[typing] "My Katies 1-128, Good to hear from all y'all, especially you, Katie When my raucous schedule permits, I will triumphantly/abundantly return to the chateau for my ruby-encrusted pocketwatch. I have plans tonight, however, but I will, furthermore, heretofore, be back on morrow next. Please tell Adelaide that the poached eggs were tremendous. Forever Young, Chester Eleganté"
[Strong Bad sends the email; after which the Lappy talks to him again]
Lappy 486:
Well played, Strong Bad. Those ladies are sure to be all up ons.
[Strong Bad is asked through email by a person named Kyle if he has ever had a car and if it's pimped out]
Strong Bad:
Oh, good one Kyle. Like I don't get two jillion of these emails every two jillion seconds. Er. Wait. Would that be so bad? Hmmm. I'll have to ask Gron Sad about that later on. Maybe write in to 'Popular Science' about it. "Popular Science." No such thing, man. More like, "Nerdular Nerdence."
[Strong Bad receives an email regarding secret recipes that the email senders, Melissa and Hillary, would like to try. It says they're from NJ, but instead of reading it as being from New Jersey, Strong Bad claims they're from Nigeria]
Strong Bad:
[typing response] Well Mellie, Hillarious, being from Africa I'm sure you guys are used to eating, like, exotic fruits and nectars and, um, lions, so our recipes may seem a bit uncouth. Can something be just plain couth? I bet freakin' Strong Sad is plain couth.
[Strong Bad is asked via email why the King of Town has always had a poopsmith]
Strong Bad:
The King of Town's just always had a Poopsmith. Even way back when they got their start as an old syndicated newspaper comic. You know, back when comics didn't seem to need jokes or humor or readers under the age of ninety-one.
[Homestar has recently had a nervous breakdown because Strong Bad received an email asking why Homestar doesn't wear pants, even though apparantly he wears long pants]
Marzipan:
It's not so bad. Everyone thinks I'm a broom.
Homestar Runner:
You're not a broom?
Coach Z:
Well, we're good friends.
Bubs:
But don't you steal my napkin!
Coach Z:
I've got great jams!
Bubs:
But I get all the royalties!
Coach Z:
Eh, I never agreed to that!
[Strong Bad discovers Homestar wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes pants]
Strong Bad:
Since you're here, let's talk about your pants. Or your lack thereof... Daisy Dukes aside.
Homestar Runner:
What are you talking about, Strong Bad? I wear long pants.
Strong Bad:
Um... no, from what I can tell, you wear no pants and have blue soles glued to the bottoms of your feet.
Homestar Runner:
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Well, that's simply not true. I have long pants, I wear long pants. I'm a long pants man, long pants, long pants!
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singer:
Stave it off, 1, 2, 3, and now you can count to three!
Homsar:
That's a real popular song! Who wants to hear of it 50 times more?
E-mail:
Coolest guy ever - - - Strong Bad...
[Strong Bad reads the three dashes as three "hennas"]
Strong Bad:
[stops reading] Whoa! Three hennas! Must be an important one.
[He then continues reading]
E-mail:
I've been wondering if you ever thought of making your own television series? Kids everywhere would love you,
[Strong Bad says "unnecessary comma" when he sees the position of the comma]
E-mail:
and your awesomeness. Allison, NJ
Strong Bad:
[typing response] Television? Kids? Wait, do you people think I'm intended for children? Like, the littlest, tiniest babies? You know, they watch those shows on public television. I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of sugarjob.
Strong Bad:
Alright, dumb children. Find The Cheat!
[the Cheat appears behind a box in the background]
Kids:
He's right there! He's over there!
[continues during the whole scene]
Strong Bad:
Uh, no, he's behind the box. No, he's not even *behind* the box, he's *barely obscured* by the box.
[getting agitated]
Strong Bad:
Look, The Cheat is behind the freakin' BOX!
[screaming]
Strong Bad:
HE'S BEHIND THE BOX! I'LL KILL YA! I'LL KILL ALL YOUR DOGS!
Strong Bad:
[singing] Oh, I'm an email gambler. That means I play cards with emails. Full house.
Homestar Runner:
Um, I think it was "dot-egg" or "dot-muffin" or somethin'.
Coach Z:
You sure it wasn't "dot-com" or "dot-org"?
Homestar Runner:
No, I'm pretty sure it was "dot-egg".
Strong Bad:
Man, if I had a nickel for every email I get, I would throw them at people in the food court, from that railing, like up above.
Strong Sad:
[rhyming] The quill! The page! Lyric! Rampage! Word up?
Marzipan:
Good style there, Strong Sad! Geoff Chauncer would be would be proud.
Homsar:
Caramel corn for president, please!
Strong Bad:
Ya see Comma, you can still hurt people and their feelings with all manner of different rampages. Until next time, bailiff, I'll be in my chambers. I mean, The Cheat, I'll be in my office... which is this room. So, I'll be right here.
Strong Bad:
Why do you have a shotgun?
[shaken]
Strong Bad:
What did you do? Where's my compy?
Bubs:
It's in a better place, Strong Bad. Or rather, it's in the same place, but now it's got a big hole through it.
[Strong Bad now feels more shaken than ever]
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:
YOU MURDERER! You killed my brother! I mean, computer!
Bubs:
Look, Strong Bad, my mouth was a broken JPEG. I had no choice.
Strong Bad:
[sobbing] You don't understand! You ALL understand! I mean, don't understand!
Bubs:
That'll be five dollars.
Strong Bad:
[reading email closing] "Peace out dat dawg foo gangsta yo Ryan N."
[typing response]
Strong Bad:
Did you just call me a dog food gangsta? What's that supposed to mean? Ought I to be offended?
Strong Bad:
[narrating] Due to a prior arrest, Thursdays are community service days, so me and the old Cheatasaurus head down to Strong Badia to give the place a firm scrubbing.
[Strong Bad and The Cheat are seen cleaning up Strong Badia. Strong Bad is vaccuuming the ground, while The Cheat scrubs the resident tire with a sponge and a bucket of water]
Strong Bad:
You know what I always say, The Cheat: "Stay smart, vaccuum... dirt."
[the Cheat squeaks]
Strong Bad:
Don't forget to wash where the sun don't shine.
[the screen of the Compy 386 reads "429,837 viruses found"]
Strong Bad:
That is not a small number! That is a big number!
[a Flagrant System Error screen appears]
Strong Bad:
[reads off of the screen] Computer over? Virus equals very yes? That's not a good prize!
[Strong Bad has attempted to blindfold himself, light Pom Pom on fire, and poke him with a pin, but Pom Pom beat him up and Strong Bad is unwilling to admit it. He thinks about how to explain Pom Pom's "death" to his parents]
Strong Bad:
Dear General and Fraulein Pom Pom, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that your son recently exploded in a giant fiery ball that was visible from space. I would also like to add that in no way did he beat any of the everloving snot out of me. Sequentially, Strong Bad.
[Strong Bad imagines if he had a chance to do over "sisters." He practices seranading Ali and Ali's sister]
Strong Bad:
Don't you know I got a big ol' red head, and a fat little body, and I never change my clothes! No, I never change my clothes!
Strong Bad:
[reading "Best Wishes, Anonymous Contributor, Gambier, OH"] Best Wishes, Anonymous Contrib-u-tore, Gombyay... hhhough.
Strong Bad:
[typing response] Ugh, poor guy. HEY! Mr. and Mrs. Contributor, way to name your kid! I can only imagine the taunts and jabs the kids on the playground musta come up with.
[a piece of notebook paper is shown with two drawings on it: one of Strong Bad and the other of what looks like Strong Sad, but with a question mark for a face]
Strong Bad:
[on paper] Hey, Anonymous! Why don't you... um... write a poem or something and not attribute it to yourself!
[the paper disappears]
Strong Bad:
Or, like...
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[Another notebook paper is shown, also with Strong Bad and Anonymous] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
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Strong Bad:
[on paper] Yo, Anony, maybe try calling the cops and giving them some valuable information to help solve a crime without revealing your own identity!
[the paper disappears]
Strong Bad:
Oh, kids can be so cruel.
Strong Bad:
Hey, Bubs, read this sign for me.
[He holds up a sign, which Bubs looks at]
Bubs:
[reading sign] "Duck A L'Orange".
Strong Bad:
What!
[Strong Bad looks at the sign. Sure enough, it reads, "Duck A L'Orange". He then pulls out a walkie-talkie]
Strong Bad:
[speaking into walkie-talkie] The Cheat, I thought I told you to make it say "sbu"!
[the Cheat responds on his own walkie-talkie with some assorted Cheat-type noises]
Strong Bad:
Oh, you really want some duck a l'orange, huh? You know we can't afford to eat like that. Aren't you a duck anyways?
[the Cheat responds angrily]
Strong Bad:
I don't know. You kinda remind me of a duck.
Strong Bad:
Lemme tell you a thing or two about garage sales: Ya ever get the feeling that the people just got lazy taking the trash out, so they stopped right there on the driveway and started putting price tags on things? I mean, isn't it just a little bit suspicious that there's only a one-letter difference between 'garage sale' and 'garbage sale?'
[He says "gar-bahge", to rhyme with "garage"]
Strong Bad:
Except, don't ever say 'garbage' like that. That's, like, the only joke Moms have and they can keep it for all I care.
[Matt is prepping his wig for his role as Rather Dashing]
Matt Chapman:
How does my fake hair look, Mike?
Mike Chapman:
[offscreen] Looks good.
Strong Bad:
[singing] I'm not gonna sing an email song this week...复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
