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Laughter on the 23rd Floor
(2001)
- 片 名Laughter on the...
- 上映时间2001年01月14日(美国)
- 导 演
理查德·本杰明
- 又 名Laughter on the 23rd Floor
- 编 剧
内尔·西蒙
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Nathan Lane
演员
饰Max Prince
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Saul Rubinek
演员
饰Ira Stone
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Dan Castellaneta
演员
饰Milt Fields
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Mackenzie Astin
演员
饰Lucus Brickma...
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Victor Garber
演员
饰Kenny Franks
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Lucas:
My name is Lucas.
Milt:
Not Arnie?
Lucas:
No, Lucas.
Milt:
Too Late. I already learned Arnie.
[Re: Max's health]
Val:
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3e
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God forgive me for saying this word: Nervous breakdown!
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fca
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Milt:
That's two words. God will never forgive you!
Max:
If I die, bill the funeral to NBC. Fuck 'em!
Max:
I have to look good for a heart attack?
Carol:
I'm trying to get pregnant.
Brian:
Ask your husband. Why should we do everything?
Carol:
I took English and Biology in college and now I have no use for either of them.
Val:
If you're a Jew, you end up in the desert no matter what.
[At his mother's grave]
Max:
Ma, have you given any thought to moving next to Pop? I think he really misses you. You wouldn't have to talk to him. I think he just wants to lie next to you. It's cold over there. He doesn't have the sun like you. (Listens) Okay.
Harry:
What'd she say?
Max:
She wants to sleep on it.
Kenny:
Pills and scotch don't mix, Max...or Max mix...however you want to say it.
Val:
Max has been very paranoid lately. Has anyone noticed?
Brian:
Isn't it impolite to watch someone being paranoid?
[With a thick Russian accent]
Val:
Go feck yourself.
Milt:
There's no such word as feck. A person cannot go feck themselves. You cannot be an American citizen until you learn to say "Go fuck yourself."
Val:
Kiss my Naturalization papers.
Val:
My dog dreams funnier than you.
Milt:
My dog can say, "Fucking pumpernickel."
Carol:
I'm pregnant.
Kenny:
Mazel-thov!
Carol:
Thank you, Kenny.
Kenny:
No I was suggesting a name.
Max:
All I'm saying is, sometimes you gotta take a stand against the bastards.
Max:
I just didn't want to say goodbye tonight...no goodbyes.
[Ira has written "I Have A Brain Tumor" on the wall]
Max:
Is that gonna wash off?
Ira:
Don't you care what might happen to me.
Max:
First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off?
Ira:
I don't think so. It's a permanent marker.
Max:
If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor.
Carol:
You wrote on the wall with an indelible marker? A mother would drown her own child for doing that!
Max:
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3e
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I want to hit something else. Something big, expensive.
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d7e
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Milt:
There's a bank across the street, Max.
Carol:
Since when has anyone here noticed I'm a woman?
Val:
I noticed it when you first came to work here. You never used the men's john.
Max:
The lines are too clogged with urbane-ament.
Brian:
In thirty years, these guys'll be writing game shows and I'll be the Preisdent of M-G-M, screwing Lana Turner.
Milt:
When she's sixty-two? Why?
Brian:
The game is funny names.
Ira:
You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers.
Carol:
Why do I want children? Look what they become.
Val:
All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet?
Ira:
Shoes! We're playing for shoes. (They take off their shoes) My seventy dollar aligators against his Irish clogs after 15 St. Patrick's Day parades.
Val:
Aaaaaand...Go!
Brian:
Rabbi John Wayne.
Writers:
Eh.
Ira:
The Count of Monte through Friday.
Writers:
Oooh!
Brian:
Ira Chuvney.
Ira:
Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that.
Brian:
Nothing. NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT IRA CHUVNEY!
Writers:
(Applaud)
Max:
I don't know who I hate most: McCarthy or Lawrence Welk.
[NBC plans on putting a "spy/observer" onto Max's show]
Max:
If he's REALLY observant, he's gonna observe me getting upset! And then he's gonna observe me very quietly, and very politely, putting my fist through his fucking face!
[Max then punches a hole in the wall]
[About Max]
Brian:
He called me last night. Said something about we're going to war again.
Val:
With the Japanese?
Brian:
I don't know, depends on how Japanese NBC is.
Val:
You think it's funny that Max called me at 12 AM midnight?
Milt:
Only when you say it.
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