Narrator:
For three long days and nights, Eugene Levy testified against the Canadian Conspiracy. In exchange for this in-depth interview, Levy demanded police protection, full amnesty from prosecution and a five-picture deal with a major Hollywood studio.
John Candy:
Eugene Levy? I don't know anybody named Eugene Levy.
Leslie Nielsen:
Eugene Levy? No!
Anne Murray:
I don't know Eugene Levy at all.
Dave Thomas:
If Candy says he doesn't know him, that's good enough for me. I don't know him either. Sorry, pal.
[Eugene Levy claims Leslie Nielsen called him and convinced him to stay in the US despite his homesickness for Canada]
Leslie Nielsen:
I called him and told HIM not to leave? I'll tell you something. If I had ever called him for any reason, I'd be calling him to tell him TO LEAVE! And that's the truth of it so you know I'm not lying.
Eugene Levy:
What can I say? Leslie Nielsen is LYING!
Leslie Nielsen:
I did not call Eugene Levy, whoever he may be.
Eugene Levy:
He did.
Leslie Nielsen:
I didn't.
Eugene Levy:
He did.
Leslie Nielsen:
I didn't.
Eugene Levy:
DID!
Leslie Nielsen:
Didn't.
Eugene Levy:
DID!
Leslie Nielsen:
Didn't.
Eugene Levy:
DID!
Leslie Nielsen:
Didn't.
[pause]
Leslie Nielsen:
I never called him.
Eugene Levy:
Well, he's a big fat liar.
[Eugene Levy's interview has wrapped]
Eugene Levy:
I'm sorry, America.
Eugene Levy:
Hey, no hard feelings, eh?
[giggles]
Narrator:
[voiceover] *Green* card.
[beat]
Narrator:
Lorne *Greene*
[beat]
Narrator:
Coincidence?
[speaking out as a concerned citizen]
Steve Martin:
And what about Morley Safer? A Canadian. That's right! A *Canadian*! Why is a Canadian doing a job that an American can do just as well?
Narrator:
What about 60 Minutes? Why haven't it's *hard hitting* news stories hit *hard* at the Canadian Conspiracy?
American Reporter:
[interrogation in "60 Minutes" style] What do you know about the Canadian Conspiracy?
Morley Safer:
Canadian Conspiracy. NO COMMENT!
American Reporter:
Mr. Safer. Mr. Safe... MISTER SAFER! We know you're friends with Lorne Greene! Bonanza!
[on whose side she would take]
Anne Murray:
If America went to war with Canada? I'd have to go with Canada.
[after CBS cancelled The Smother's Brothers and Canadian comedian David Steinberg was blamed]
Narrator:
CBS Executives argued that comedy shows had no business poking fun at the Supreme Being. But Trudeau stated privately that he could take a joke as well as the next guy. For Pierre Elliot Trudeau however, the cancellation of The Smother's Brothers was *no laughing matter*.
Canadian Reporter:
Mister Prime Minister, how do you plan to get back at CBS?
Pierre Trudeau:
Just watch me.
Lorne Greene:
There's no connection whatsoever between Lorne Green and Green Card.
Anne Murray:
Well, there *has* to be a connection between Lorne Green and the Green Card. Because all the people I know who have Green Cards know Lorne Greene.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
