"Rude Awakening" (1998)

  • 美国
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  • 喜剧
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  • advertisement Billie Frank: Irish Coffee, easy on the coffee! Billie Frank: Last night, I think I slept with a woman. Billie Frank: [shouting at Dave] That is what you do with the drink! You drink it! You can't eat it: nothing to chew! Can't wear it: no straps! Can't smoke it: wet! Drinks are meant to be drunk, much like myself! That's the familiar face: isn't that Billie Frank, the drunk? Joe: And the slut. Billie Frank: Right! Haley: I know you're in pain but I'm not sure cigarettes and cookies are the answer. Billie Frank: You're right. I'll get that pie. Billie Frank: [showing 2 dresses] Dave, come here for a second. Which one of these says: feel free to grope me in public? Dave Parelli: Oh, this one. [looking at the other dress] Dave Parelli: This one's says: you're gonna have to buy me dinner first. Billie Frank: I think that we should do something that makes us feel better. Dave Parelli: What is there besides sex? Billie Frank: H鋋gen-Dazs! Billie Frank: Apparently God has chosen to punish me by making me work for someone who actually wants me to work. Billie: The first picture of me in my family album, I'm two days old and my mother's breast-feeding the doctor. Dave: Billie, this'll be hard but I need you to think of someone other than yourself for a moment... Trudy Frank: [to Billie] How dare you tell all your friends I'm a drunken potato-headed whore? Billie Frank: How do I know you don't badmouth me to your friends when I'm not there? Trudy Frank: Because, darling, when you're not here I forget all about you. Dave Parelli: Remember that anesthesiologist I was dating and I cheated on her with her sister? I just told her about it and she forgave me. We sat down, had a nice cup of tea, and... [puzzled] Dave Parelli: and I don't really remember what happened after that. Billie Frank: Mom, with you in A.A., are you sure it's a good idea to *drink*? Trudy Frank: Don't be ridiculous darling, it's always a good idea to drink. Billie Frank: Mother, I'm in A.A. for real. I go every day. It's not a hobby, it's not a place to pick up guys - most of the time. I'm struggling with sobriety. You haven't even *met* sobriety. Billie Frank: Hi, I'm Billie, but all my friends call me "Oh Crap, Here Comes Billie." Billie: If I had known this praying crap actually worked, I would have started it long time ago. Next time I think I'll pray for a Porsche. You want anything? Dave: I don't think you're supposed to pray for the things that you want. Billie: What am I supposed to pray for, the things I don't want? Next time I'll pray for... herpes. Dave: No, you pray for the strength to accept God's will. Billie: You pray your way and I pray mine, okay? Dave: I like the sound the glass makes when the bartender puts it on the counter. I like the way it feels in my hand. I bring it in close, and I can smell it, and a wave of relief goes through my body even before I take the first sip. Billie: You're slow. I'd be on my third one by now. Billie: Why should you get what you want when I can't get what I want? Dave: Because life is unfair and I'm really horny. Billie Frank: Alright, alright, I admit it. I'm a fiscally irresponsible, emotionally unstable, former drunk. But that shouldn't *no way* prejudice your decision to maybe, you know, hopefully give me an advance? Sidney Gibson: An advance? You don't earn the money I pay you. Billie: May I confide in you as a friend? Sidney Gibson: No. Billie: Fine. Then as an acquaintance. [she sighs and sits] Billie: You know, lately, my life has been really crappy. Yeah... haven't had sex in over months, my landlord is raising my rents! Sidney Gibson: So sleep with him. Billie: [asking for an advance] Hey, Siddy Sid Sid... you're like the mother I never had. Sidney Gibson: Forget it. Billie: Now you're like the mother I have. Trudy Frank: A drink without liquor? Oh, what's the point? Billie Frank: How about, driving your car legally, or maybe remembering your name... Or, not pursuing a liver at the age of fifty. Trudy Frank: Fifty? I beat the odds. Trudy: Because of me, you lived here, rent-free, for years. Billie: Mother, I was a child! Trudy: An ungrateful one. Trudy Frank: [to Billie] I gave you life! The least you could do is cheerfully answer the door. Sidney Gibson: [about the new web page Billie's supposed to take care of] Are we on the internet yet? Billie Frank: Didn't you hear the internet's closed today? Jackie: If anyone can bounce back, it's me; I'm like the Energizer Junkie. Dave: [to Billie] Hey, the next time you invite me to a family gathering, could you make sure it's not your family! Billie Frank: Come on Dave, please, I need your help, I'm begging you, and I don't usually beg! Well, not with my clothes on, anyway. Billie: Carl, what if I told you I was really drunk last night and... the only reason I slept with you is because, well, I don't know why I slept with you, *but* it's never gonna happen again. Trudy: [Billie just arrived at her mother's house] Oh Billie, would like a frozen Prozac on a stick? Or, as I'd like to call it - Frozac. It's great on those late summer afternoons when you're really depressed. 复制 复制成功 复制失败,请手动复制
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