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[Clifford gets into the supply cabinet instead of going through the doors onto the set]
Kermit the Frog:
Clifford, that's the supply cabinet!
Clifford:
I know that, it's a nice supply cabinet too. Nice and quiet. Let's cue the announcer shall we.
Kermit the Frog:
Cue the announcer.
Nigel:
Go Go Go Go Go Go Go!
[supply cabinet is pushed on set]
Announcer:
And now it's time for "Muppets Tonight" and here's the host of our show - Clifford!
[Rizzo knocks on supply cabinet door]
Rizzo the rat:
You're on, Clifford!
Clifford:
I'm Clifford, your homey made of foamey!
The Great Gonzo:
Clifford, your problems are solved, I've got an act thats gonna knock your socks off!
Clifford:
Well, put them on, man.
The Great Gonzo:
Your socks?
Clifford:
No, the act!
Clifford:
The only thing that's gonna save us now, Rizzo, is if a world famous superstar walks through that door...
[door closes on Clifford]
Rizzo the rat:
Or that door.
Clifford:
Man, you cats are stupid!
Randy Pig:
Oh, well, you are the stupid one because we are not even cats.
Andy Pig:
Yes we're... dogs.
Randy Pig:
Look a fire hydrant!
Waldorf:
Nurse, there's something wrong with this TV.
Statler:
What's that?
Waldorf:
It's on!
Polly:
I hear you've been having some problems.
Clueless:
It's my wife's sister. She's eating me out of house and home.
Polly:
Ate all the groceries, huh?
Clueless:
No, she ate my house which of course is my home!
John Goodman:
I think the igpays are a little upidstay.
Andy Pig:
He speaks the ancient tongue!
Andy Pig, Randy Pig:
Ereway otnay orthyway! Ereway otnay orthyway!
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
[Pierce Brosnan and Kermit the Frog are in Bunsen's lab, Pierce Brosnan is cleaning his ear with a cotton swab] Now, where did I put my Super Ray of Death Cotton Swab?
Kermit the Frog:
Say, what?
Bobo the Bear:
[a red ray comes out of his opposite ear and blows a hole in the wall, seen through the hole, Bobo the Bear is taking a bath] Hey! This is the reason I moved out of the Y!
[Garth Brooks is singing a number from Fiddler on the Roof]
Studio manager:
I thought he was going to sing a country song.
Rizzo the rat:
Yeah, but he didn't say which country.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
[driving a speedboat] Look, no hands!
[takes off his glasses and tosses them]
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
No eyes!
Andy Pig:
Cindy, if you're a supermodel, what are your super powers?
Cindy Crawford:
Well? I can do this.
[Lasers come from her eyes and Andy flashes and gets vaporized]
Randy Pig:
Cool! oh Cindy! Cindy! Do me! Do me! Please Cindy!
Dennis Quaid:
[in Dragonheart spoof] Froggo, your reign of terror is over! I, Circumference of the Circle shall fight you to the death!
Kermit the Frog:
[offscreen] Oh, get over thyself!
Dennis Quaid:
[surprised] Hey, you don't sound like Sean Connery!
Kermit the Frog:
Yeah, well, you don't sound like Jerry Lee Lewis!
Dennis Quaid:
Ooooh, getting personal! Stand back, everyone!
Carl:
[eating Bunsen's experimental Nice/Evil Biscotti/Chimichengas] I like this biscotti.
[eats a chimichenga]
Carl:
But I hate this chimichangas!
[eats a biscotti]
Carl:
And I love this biscotti.
[eats a chimichenga]
Carl:
And I hate these chimichengas!
[eats a nearby lamp]
Carl:
I love this lamp.
[eats an alarm clock]
Carl:
Oh, I hate this alarm clock!
[the clock he just ate rings and he vibrates for a second]
Carl:
Thank you!
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