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Tia Mowry:
You don't own me.
Lisa Landry:
I am renting you for 21 years!
Ray:
Money doesn't grow on trees
Tamera:
Yeah if it did, I'd be outside rakin'.
Lisa Landry:
Hey, what's Hank doing here?
Ray:
That's Hank?
Lisa Landry:
He's sick, he's supposed to be in bed!
[Hank starts kissing another woman]
Ray:
I think he's heading in that direction...
Tia Mowry:
Tamera, do I look like someone who would put on rollerblades, and skate around with someone named, Dinky Patterson?
Tamera:
Well, you look like me, and I'm going!
Tamera:
You're not bothering me anymore, Roger.
Roger:
So?
Tamera:
That's bothering me! I kind of miss the way you used to follow me around and give me the creeps.
Roger:
We did have something special, didn't we?
Tamera:
Yeah, I guess we did.
Roger:
Well, we can get it back if we try.
Tamera:
What about Tia?
Roger:
Don't worry your little head... I'll just let her down gently.
[Tia walks in]
Roger:
Tia, you're toast!
Tia Mowry:
You smell like puppies.
Tamera:
No I don't!
Tia Mowry:
Doesn't that cute guy work at the pet store? You've been down there today, haven't you?
Tamera:
Darn right I have, Tia! And we bottle fed the hamsters together!
[Tia and Tamera are posing as limousine drivers]
Chilli T:
Wait a minute... the studio sent a couple of teenage girls to be my driver?
Tamera:
Yes...
Chilli T:
Cool, they got my memo!
Tamera:
I read in the 'Wossuuuup' magazine that Chilli *never* says no to a fan in need.
Young Fan:
Excuse me Mr. Chilli, I'm a really big fan. Can I please have your autograph, pleeeeeaaase?
Chilli T:
Man, get away from me, get that thing outta my face!
Lisa Landry:
Today I destroyed an entire church!
Tia Mowry:
Well, my marriage to Michael's on the rocks!
Lisa Landry:
Huh, not even close.
Tamera:
I... I think I'm in love with Roger.
Lisa and Tia:
You win!
Clark:
[to Tyrek] You don't be buying nothing. You just been creep, creep, creeping around my store for the past weeks. You better buy something or get out of my store!
Lisa Landry:
[singing] Here comes the check, all dressed in green. Just call me Lisa, the money machine!
[Tamera is pouring chocolate sauce in her mouth]
Ray:
Tamera is that dessert or... a desperate cry for help?
Tamera:
You got all the art genes, the music genes, what genes are left for me?
Tia Mowry:
Well I have some ripped jeans in the closet upstairs.
Tamera:
And you got the joke genes too!
[the girls have just received a birthday card]
Tia Mowry:
[Reading it out] To my dearest nieces... Two words... 'Carpe Diem'.
Tamera:
To my dearest Uncle... Two words... 'Say what?'
[They've been given an egg to look after like a child, Roger has stuck on hair and drawn a face on it]
Tamera:
Wow she's looking more and more like you every day.
Roger:
Yeah.
[turns egg around]
Roger:
But I gave her your butt.
[On naming their 'baby' - an egg for a school project]
Roger:
Why don't we name her Talamika? That's Swahili for precious flower.
Tamera:
That's beautiful Roger how'd you know that?
Roger:
Coz I just made it up.
Lisa Landry:
On the way over I had a little accident...
[hands him his mailbox]
Ray:
How'd you hit my mailbox? You don't even have a car.
Lisa Landry:
I was power walkin and I hit it with my purse!
Lisa Landry:
Doc, how are my girls? Tell me the worst!
Hospital Janitor:
Girl, the toilet bowl overflowed!
[Tamera saw Ray's girlfriend kissing another man]
Tia Mowry:
Maybe it was just someone who looked like her.
Tamera:
[sarcastically] Oh, sure, maybe she has an identical twin sister somewhere that she doesn't know anything about... It was *her*, OK?
Ray:
[coming up with a song for his business] You need Ray, You need Ray, You need Ray!
Lisa Landry:
You need help, You need help, You need help!
[repeated line]
Tamera, Tia Mowry:
Go home, Roger!
Lisa Landry:
[Upon seeing Tia's school picture] OH. Well, honey, um... why's your head so big?
Ray:
[to Tia and Tamera after they become obsessed with their appearance] Girls, outer beauty is meaningless. It's inner beauty that counts. You show me someone obsessed with their looks, and I'll show you a deeply disturbed person.
Lisa Landry:
[Runs in, clutching three pieces of paper] Ooh, girls! I just won three certificates for beauty makeovers!
Ray:
You need three, huh?
Roger:
Hi, Tia. I heard you were tutoring.
Tia Mowry:
Yeah, I am. What do you need, Roger?
Roger:
I need a little help with my Anatomy.
Tia Mowry:
Roger, you don't take Anatomy.
Roger:
No, but I have one.
[Grins]
Tia Mowry:
[Slams the door in Roger's face]
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