Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983) 5.9

Marley: Ebenezer? Remember when I was alive I robbed from widows and swindled the poor? Scrooge: Yes, and all in the same day. Oh, you had class, Jacob. Marley: Ha-yuk. Yup. Er, no, no! I was wrong. And so, as punishment, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains for eternity! Maybe even longer. Ghost of Christmas Past: Listen, Scrooge, if men were measured by kindness, you'd be no bigger than a speck of dust. Scrooge: Ho-hum. Kindness is of little use in this world. Ghost of Christmas Past: You didn't always think so. Come on, Scrooge, it's time to go. Scrooge: Then go! Ebenezer Scrooge: Spirit, whose lonely grave is this? [gasps as the ghost strikes a match, illuminating the tombstone: it reads "EBENEZER SCROOGE"] Ghost of Christmas Future: Why, yours, Ebenezer! The richest man in the cementery! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Cratchit: Tomorrow is Christmas and I was wondering if I could have... Half a day off? Scrooge: Christmas, eh? Uh, er... I suppose so. But I'll dock you half a day's pay. Let's see, I pay you two shillings a day... Cratchit: Two shillings and a halfpenny, Sir. Scrooge: Oh yes, I gave you that raise three years ago. Cratchit: Yes, sir, when I started doing your laundry. Fred: I've come to give you a wreath and invite you to Christmas dinner. Scrooge: Well, I suppose you're going to have plump goose with chesnut dressing? Fred: Yup. Scrooge: And will you have plum pudding and lemon sauce? Fred: Yeah, boy oh boy. Scrooge: And candied fruit with spiced sugar cakes? Fred: Uh-huh. Will you come? Scrooge: Are you daft, man? You know I can't eat that stuff! Take your wreath and out, out, OUT! [kicks Fred out] Scrooge: And what can I do for you two gentlemen? Collector for the Poor #1: Sir, we are collecting funds for the indigent and destitute. Scrooge: For the what? Collector for the Poor #2: We're collecting for the poor. Scrooge: Oh. Aha. Well, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they? And if they're not poor anymore then you won't have to raise money for them anymore. And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you'd be out of a job. Oh please, Gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas eve. Collector for the Poor #1: Oh we wouldn't do that, Mr. Scrooge. Scrooge:

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[giving them a wreath]

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Well then, I suggest you give this to the poor and be gone. Scrooge: What's this world coming to, Cratchit? You work all your life to get money... then people want you to give it away. Scrooge: Bah humbug! Fred: Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge! Scrooge: What's so merry about it? I'll tell you what Christmas is. It's just another work day, and any chap who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding! Cratchit: But sir, Christmas is a time for giving... a time to be with one's family. Scrooge: I say, Bah humbug! Fred: I don't care! I say, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas! Cratchit: [clapping] Well said, Master Fred! Scrooge: Cratchit, what are you doing? Cratchit: [stops clapping] I was just trying to keep my hands warm, sir. [Bob closes his book and starts to leave as the clock chimes 7:00. Scrooge looks at his watch] Scrooge: Hmm... Two minutes fast. [Bob stops then goes back to his desk] Scrooge: Well, never mind those two minutes. You may go now. Cratchit: Oh thank you, sir! You're so kind! Scrooge: Never mind the mushy stuff, just go!... But be here all the other early the next day! Cratchit: I will, I will, sir! And a Bah Humbug... I mean, a Merry Christmas to you, sir! Marley: Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits. [holds up two fingers] Marley: Listen to 'em. Do what they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine. Farewell, Ebenezer. [gliding through door] Marley: Fareweeeellll... Scrooge: Marley, watch out for that first... [Marley goes crashing down the stairs] Scrooge: Step. Ghost of Christmas Present: Don't forget the chocolate pot roast with smishmashio... With smiminish... With yogurt. Tiny Tim: And God bless us, everyone. Scrooge: My partner, Jacob Marley, dead seven years today. Oh, he was a good'n. He robbed from the widows and swindled the poor. In his will, he left me enough money to pay for his tombstone, and I have him burried at sea! Cratchit: Oh, that Fred. Always so full of kindness. Scrooge: Aye. He always was a little peculiar [door bell rings] Scrooge: ... AND stubborn! Ghost of Christmas Past: [as Scrooge panics while flying toward the past] What's wrong, Scrooge? [laughs] Ghost of Christmas Past:

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I thought you enjoyed looking down on the world!