advertisement Mario Mario: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em... then beat 'em. Mario Mario: That's a heaping helpin' of moolah. Luigi: Yeah and that's a lot of money too. Mario/Luigi: Pattycake, pattycake, Pasta Man / Gimme pasta power as fast as you can. Link: [looking down Zelda's blouse from a tower] Hey, princess! Looking good! Espeacially from this angle! [repeated line] Link: Well, Excuuuuuuse me, princess! Luigi: Hey Mario! You sure you know what you're doing? Mario Mario: Sure, I'm doing 60 miles an hour! [Luigi is holding a giant hypodermic needle] Toad: This is the second biggest hyperthermic needle I've ever seen Luigi: What was the biggest? Toad: My last flu shot Blooper: I can take you on with seven arms tied behind my back [repeated line] Mario Mario, Luigi: Yes, Mama. Mario Mario: We need your Hocus Pocus. can you make us fly? Genie: Fly? Do you know what a drain that is on me? Luigi: No problem. Any drain you got, we can fix. We're plumbers. Mario Mario: Tell you what, you make us fly and I'll grease your palm with a gold coin. Genie: Now you're talking. Eeenie meenie miney mo. Make'em fly. I need the dough. Madame Agogo: Ahooooooooo Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [a window shatters] Luigi: Uh Madame Agogo, did you just summon up evil spirits? Madame Agogo: No it was the Chilli Peppers I had for lunch [drum fanfare] Madame Agogo: , Now ask me whats the first thing on my mind! Mario Mario: Ok whats the first thing on your mind? Madame Agogo: My $25 fee [drum fanfare] Madame Agogo: course things don't come cheap you have to pay the rent [Takes money from Mario] Madame Agogo: Thank you, Mario, Luigi join hands! Madame Agogo: [chanting as the lights dim down] Ohhhh ooohhh almight spirits/ with mighty eyes/ To Mario and Luigi/ Please don't tell lies, [pause] Madame Agogo: Ahhhhhh either all your questions will soon be answered, Luigi: Or...? Mario Mario: Or...? Madame Agogo: Or we'll have to play a quick game of ring-around-the-rosie [drum fanfare] Madame Agogo: [after the Lengend of Zelda preview] I Fell! Mario Mario: YES? Madame Agogo: I Fell! Luigi: YES? Madame Agogo: I feel someone stepping on my foot! [drum fanfare] Mario Mario, Luigi: [both look at the floor then make a gesture with their teeth and fingers] Neeurrgh! [Ray Charles' "Hit the Road Jack." can be heard in the background] King Bowser Koopa: Hey mouse-brain, where's that music coming from? Mouser #2: Maybe you left your radio on. King Bowser Koopa: Don't be silly. This is pasta-land, radio hasn't been invented yet. Link: [making a dramatic entrance, swinging in on a rope] You called for a hero, princess? Princess Zelda: Yes, but I guess you'll have to do. Ganon, Moblins: [trying to figure out why Zelda is the only one who can see Link's spirit] The only way she could see him is if... she was in *love* with him. Princess Zelda: Now don't get any ideas, buster! Link: So you love me, eh? Princess Zelda: Oh, I do *not*! Link: [singing] Yes, you do. Yes, you do. That's why you can see me! Princess Peach Toadstool: [as a baby] [to Luigi] Princess Peach Toadstool: More fasty, more fasty, Uncle Luigi. King Bowser Koopa: [dressed as a baby] Stop or I'll tell on you. I've been hanging around these kids too long. [Albatross drops a net on Koopa] King Bowser Koopa: Net *them*, you idiots! Not me! Toad: [Toad's snowboard fell into the snowbank] If that Koopa ruined my board, I'll... Princess Peach Toadstool: Don't you care if we're all right, Toad? Toad: Well, yeah, but my present?. Princess Peach Toadstool: I guess your present means more than we do. Toad: Well, it *is* Christmas. Uh, are you OK, Princess? [Princess Toadstool glares at him with a mad look] Link: [first lines of the series] Another beautiful day in the magical kingdom of Hyrule. Boring place! I used to roam the world, fighting monsters and sleeping in mud, a hero's life! Now, look at me, living in a castle, sleeping in a bed... art I sweet! Ugh! I'd like to know one good reason why I even stay here! Mario Mario: Until next time, everybody... Mario and Luigi: Do the Mario! Sprite: [after seeing an old witch] What is this, ugly people day? [Mario, Princess, and Toad ask Luigi to jump a gorge] Luigi: I can't! Uh, I'm having a baby! Luigi: [fakes labor pains] [the rest of the group stare at Luigi incredulously, then, offscreen, push Luigi onscreen] Luigi: [defeated] Well, it was worth a try. King Bowser Koopa: [rapping] Troopas, let's go! Let's mount an attack! [Trips over something] King Bowser Koopa: Ow! That hurt! Ooh, oww, ack! King Bowser Koopa: [repeated line to his army] Koopa Pack, Attack! [repeated line] Luigi: Suffering Spumoni! Mario Mario: [Intro Line] Hey, Pisanos! It's the Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Princess Zelda: [Intro, The title appears and the trianlge symbol turns into the triforce if wisdom, Zelda and Link walk into the room] This is the Triforce of Wisdom, Link. The evil wizard Gannon has the Triforce of Power. [the scene goes to Gannon summoning his army of creaturs to head towards Zelda's castle] Princess Zelda: Whoever gets both Triforces will rule this land forever, you must help me Link. Link: Hey, for you Zelda, anything. [upshot of the Brooklyn Bridge, two Albatrosses circle overhead] King Bowser Koopa: [off camera] Okay, Troopas. Here is the new Koopa plan. [scene cuts to King Koopa and a gathering of Koopatroopas and Bob-Ombs on the bridge] King Bowser Koopa: [turns to group of Bob-Ombs] First, you Bob-Ombs are gonna blow up this Brooklyn Bridge! [troops applaud loudly] King Bowser Koopa: The Princess and the Mario brothers will be trapped, and we can take... step two... Koopa Troopa: ...turn every citizen of Brooklyn into bricks! [troops applaud once more] King Bowser Koopa: Hold your applause. I know it's a genius idea, but I have them all the time. Koopa Troopa: And then what happens, your royal repulsiveness? King Bowser Koopa: I crown myself the King of "Koop-lyn" and I make all the laws. No plumbers, no pasta, no princesses, and Brooklyn accents are not allowed! [troops cheer and applaud, camera pans to four trash cans, with Mario, Luigi, the Princess, and Toad hiding in each] Princess Peach Toadstool: It's a good thing we found Koopa before he got away with all that. King Bowser Koopa: Then as the old saying goes, he who koops and runs away lives to koop another day! Link: [Link's a ghost] Don't tell me you only love me for my body. Princess Zelda: Ha! It's just that without your body you're even more useless.