Scott: We are never going into the woods again! Carly: I think if you ever want to get in my pants again... Scott: Affirmative. Carly: ...this is the last time you use the "e" word. Okay? Chris: Thank you, take care. Old Man: You're the one who's gonna need to take care. Chris: Your phone isn't working sir, do you have another I could use? Old Man: Long distance? Chris: Uhm... what isn't long distance from here? Old Man: You cuttin' wise with me, son? Chris: No sir, it's just... I'm running behind and I really need to make a call. Old Man: Well that there's my only phone. Chris: Right. The highway's jammed up pretty bad, do you know of another route heading south? Old Man: Nope. Chris: [consults a map on the wall] Say, why's this Bear Mountain Road a dotted line? Old Man: Dirt. Chris: Dirt road? Old Man: Bet they ain't even got around to paving it yet. Chris: Looks like it runs into the highway about fifteen, twenty miles. Is that right? Old Man: If you say so. Chris: Thank you very much sir, you take care. [Chris gets in his car, and drives off] Old Man: You're the one who's gonna need to take care. Jessie: Hey what's your name? Chris: Chris Flynn Jessie: You hurt Chris Flynn? Chris: No I'm fine, Jessie: Good [throws a bag at Chris] Jessie: cause you're the mule. [Scott pretends to fall] Carly: That is not funny. Scott: Look's who scared now... sorry Carly: Whatever, just get me to a motel room, run me a very hot bath and be prepared to provide me with a lot of orgasms. [Jessie and Chris start laughing] Chris: I think they need to be alone. Jessie:
Woah wait guys, this road isn't on here.
[Points to map] Carly: That's because we don't have the redneck world atlas. Chris: Let's make this quick. Scott: Actually, maybe we should keep walking. Carly: What, the next house is gonna have a white picket fence? Scott: If there is a next house. Scott: Okay, who lives here? Carly: I don't know, but can you help me find the bathroom? Scott: Baby, I think this is the bathroom. Chris: [pulling over a branch] Can you hold this? Jessie: Why? Chris: 'cause we're gonna knock this fucker outta the tree! Evan: I can't believe they called us stoners. Evan: You know, we should've just taken her to New York. Francine: No, you know how she loves this outdoors stuff. Evan: Yeah. If you ask me, though, nature sucks. Francine: Well, the next time she gets dumped we'll take her to New York. Carly: [looking at the room where the inbreds' victims' belongings are] God, look at this place. Scott: Yeah, it's like the garage sale from hell. Jessie: Carly, look at me, OK? Scott died protecting us. We need to keep ourselves alive, or it was for nothing. OK? We're all in this together, Carl. Come on. Carly: [whimpering] I want him back. Jessie: I know, I know. Carl, look at me, OK? Look. We're gonna stay alive. We're gonna get out of this. We're gonna get out of these woods, we're gonna find the police and we're gonna make sure those motherfucks are punished for this. OK? Carly: [trying to climb out the window] I'd rather jump than burn to death! Evan: Okay, you guys go, and we'll just stay here, Francine and... Scott: And get high. Evan: Yeah... so? Francine: [smoking pot] Where did you get this? Evan: I found it in my dad's room, actually. Francine: Drop your pants. Evan: What? Francine: When do people always show up, Evan? What are we doing? Consider it an experiment in probability theory. [Jessie opens her eyes after sleeping and sees one of the cannibals coming at her] Jessie: They're here! [both freak out for a second] Chris:
No. No they're not. You were dreaming.