Gale: Hey, you'd better check your conscience at the door sweetie, we're not here to be loved. Cotton: I don't know about homicide, but you've sure got me for raising my voice in a public library. Gale: Look, local woman! I know you hold me up as your career template and that it gives you some sort of charge to challenge me, but give it a rest. Gale: So what do you want to do, bonehead? Just sit here and wait to see who drops next? Dewey: I don't know. [Gale's phone rings] Dewey: Phonehead! Debbie: [after shooting Mickey] Two birds, one stone. [Sidney continues to sob and gasp] Debbie: Oh! Mickey was a good boy, but my God! That whole "Blame-the-movies" motive? Did you buy that for one second? The poor boy was completely out of his mind. [Kicks Mickey's body] Sydney: And you're not? Debbie: No. I'm very sane. [Reaches down to pick Mickey's gun up] Debbie: My motive isn't as 90's as Mickey's. Mine is just good, old-fashioned revenge. You killed my son! And now I kill you, and I can't think of anything more rational! Sydney: You're never gonna get away with this. Debbie: Oh, of course I will! [Takes out a cloth to clean her fingerprints off of the gun] Debbie: Everything's traceable back to Mickey. Including the cop gun he used to kill everybody. But let's just suppose that you had gotten hold of the other cop's gun. And you chased Mickey, and there was a big shoot-out, and a big scuffle. And you shot Mickey! Killed Mickey dead! [Throws the gun way over to the stage] Debbie: But not before he got off one shot at you! Okay. So, have I covered everything? Are there any questions? Any comments? You know what, though? [Sidney tries to run, but Mrs. Loomis points the gun at her on the other side of the column] Debbie: Who gives a flyin' fuck, anyway? Let 'em try and track down the second possible killer! Debbie Salt doesn't exist! Sydney: I want to know who it is. Hallie: No, no, Sid!
: I'm going back! Hallie: Stupid people go back! Smart people run! We're smart people, so we should just get the fuck outta here! Joel: I'm gonna get some donuts, some Prozac; see if I can't find some crack, Special K, X... not Malcom, and I'll be back when y'all find a subject more "Saved By The Bell"-ish! Mickey: It's all about Execution. Execution, Execution, Execution! Mickey: You should really deal with your trust issues Sid: I mean, poor Derek. He's completely innocent. And such a nice boy too. He's bright and funny and handsome. Decent singing voice. And he was going to be a doctor. This is just the kinda boy you'd like to take home to mom. If you had a mom. Sydney: Fuck you! Mickey: So vulgar! Did Billy let you talk to him like that? Sydney: Billy was a sick fuck just like you! Mickey: No. Billy was a sick fuck who tried to get away with it. Mickey is the sick fuck who wants to get caught, yea! See I got my whole defense planned out. I'm gonna blame the movies. Pretty cool huh? It's never been done before. You see, this is just the beginning, a prelude to the trial. That's where the real fun is 'cause these days it's all about the trial. Can you see it? The effects on cinema violence on society. I'll get Dershowitz or Cochran to represent me. Bob Doll on the witness stand in my defense. Hell the Christian Coalition 'll pay my legal fees. It's airtight Sid. I'm an innocent victim. Sydney: You're a psychotic. Mickey: Yea, well. Shh... [whispers] Mickey: that'll be our little secret. Cause people love a good trial. It's like theater. They're dyin' for it. And I've worked hard to give the audience what they want. That's what Billy was good at. He knew... It's all about... execution. Sydney: Yea? Well, you're forgetting one thing about Billy Loomis Mickey: What's that? Sydney: I fucking killed him! Maureen Evans: [to the disguised killer next to her] See, if that was me, I'd be running! Mickey: It's a perfect example of life imitating art imitating life. Sorority girl: Hi Sydney! No, I really mean that, hi! Hallie: I like the little furry things. Mickey: Ewoks, they blow. Dewey: Look, Gale's no killer. Randy: Ok, all right then, but if she's not a killer, she's a target. Dewey: When did she start smoking? Randy: Ever since those nude pictures on the internet. Gale: It was just my head, it was Jennifer Aniston's body! Randy:
I cannot believe it, they get Tori Spelling to play Syd, and they cast Joe Blow nobody to play me. At least you get David Schwimmer. I get the guy who drove the stagecoach for one episode of Dr. Quinn!