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Harland Williams
演员
饰Fred Z. Randa...
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Jessica Lundy
演员
饰Julie Ford
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William Sadler
演员
饰'Wild Bill' O...
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Jeffrey DeMunn
演员
饰Paul Wick
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Don Lake
演员
饰Flight Surgeo...
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Beau Bridges
演员
饰Bud Nesbitt
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Fred Randall:
A glitch? No, that's not possible. I programmed it myself.
Fred Randall:
I'm 30 years old. I'm almost a grown man.
Fred Randall:
Sweet swirling onion rings!
Fred Randall:
Hey, Commander, were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? When I was little I used to think there was a baker under my bed.
William Overbeck:
No.
Fred Randall:
You ever look?
William Overbeck:
No.
Fred Randall:
Then how do you know there wasn't a baker under your bed?
[Repeated line]
Fred Randall:
It wasn't me!
Fred Randall:
It wasn't me!
William Overbeck:
What do you mean "It wasn't you"? We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!
Fred Randall:
Maybe it was Julie.
William Overbeck:
You dog!
Fred Randall:
Hey! Miracles can happen.
William Overbeck:
Blaming this on Julie!
Fred Randall:
Okay. I admit. It was me.
William Overbeck:
Thank you.
[Fred farts again]
Fred Randall:
Now, THAT was Julie!
[about Fred]
Bud Nesbitt:
Only a complete genius or a total fool could ever pull this off. Lucky for us he's both.
William Overbeck:
Have fun, kid.
Fred Randall:
Fun is my Chinese neighbor's middle name!
Fred Randall:
I have to go tinkle!
Julie Ford:
I guess I'll see you in eight months.
Fred Randall:
Boy. I wish I had nine hundred twenty-eight dollars for every time a girl said that to me!
Bud Nesbitt:
Look, it was an accident.
Fred Randall:
Oh, sure, sure it was. Just like the captain of the Exxon-Valdez didn't see Alaska floating there right in front of him!
Fred Randall:
I feel like a paleontologist that's been hunting dinosaurs his whole life and finally got to meet one!
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2b
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Fred Randall
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ff0
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:
I'll enter the same calculations using what we like to call The Right Way.
Fred Randall:
Mr. Wick, can I call you Paul?
Paul Wick:
No.
Fred Randall:
Are we there yet?
Paul Wick:
No.
Fred Randall:
Can I drive?
Paul Wick:
No.
Fred Randall:
Can I park it?
Paul Wick:
He's a computer genius, he's supposed to be a little weird.
Julie Ford:
A little?
Fred Randall:
[to the Chimp] Alright, I'm going out. If you light the place on fire the number's 9-1-1, thank you.
William Overbeck:
Well it's a very special drink. It's just for us astronauts.
Fred Randall:
Oh! Like Tang?
Bud Nesbitt:
How about just saying "Thanks for the cool coin Bud it really means a lot to me."
Fred Randall:
Oh yeah, thanks for the cool coin Bud it really, what was the rest?
Fred Randall:
Commander, can I call you Bill?
William Overbeck:
No.
Fred Randall:
Are we there yet?
William Overbeck:
No.
Fred Randall:
Can I drive?
William Overbeck:
No!
Fred Randall:
I'm hungry!
Fred Randall:
We're the first to stand on Mars!
William Overbeck:
Yeah. Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets.
William Overbeck:
How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars.
Fred Randall:
Well sorry Mr. First to Show Inappropriate Anger on Mars.
Fred Randall:
Hey! There's no airbag. What if I go flying' through the windshield?
William Overbeck:
Randall, there is no windshield.
Fred Randall:
Oh, well what if I go flying' through he front of my helmet?
William Overbeck:
I'd die happy.
Fred Randall:
They say that when a mother's child is trapped the rush of her adrenaline gives her the strength of 20 men. Alright Commander call me Mommy!
Fred Randall:
Who am I?
William Overbeck:
Mommy.
Fred Randall:
Say it like you love me.
Fred Randall:
You're alive Little Billy!
William Overbeck:
Don't you ever call me little Billy!
Fred Randall:
That's no way to talk to your mother!
Fred Randall:
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a2
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It's tale as old as time Ulysses. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl. Boy and girl return to home planet, get a nice little house with a white picket fence.
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c40
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Fred Randall:
Mom, going to Mars shouldn't be referred to running away.
Mrs. Randall:
Last time you ran away it was only to the garage.
[Fred is typing on the computer to find out how long he's been asleep]
Fred Randall:
[while typing] Query: How long have I been asleep?
[the screen reads "RESPONSE: THIRTEEN MINUTES"]
Fred Randall:
Thirteen minutes?
Fred Randall:
No eating puzzles in the house and surely we don't jump on the beds!
Julie Ford:
[about Fred] Just because we're going TO Mars, we gotta take along a guy FROM Mars?
Paul Wick:
Reconsider the mission? Sure...
[pretends to think]
Paul Wick:
Okay, it's still on.
Paul Wick:
Bud, your hunches are about as useless as dental floss at a Willie Nelson concert.
[Randall is laying on the floor with socks on his hands when the technicians come to get him out]
Fred Randall:
Can you leave me alone for just five more minutes? I just got into the third act.
[with an English voice and moving sock puppet]
Fred Randall:
Yes! Close the door! It's bloody chilly in here!
Fred Randall:
It reminds me of a French Canadian tennis racket, stuck to the back of a Venus snow-goon, bubbling out of my sister's Brazilian donkey - I don't think I can make myself any clearer!
Fred Randall:
JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT! His name is my name too!
[whispering]
Fred Randall:
whenever we go out, the people always shout,
[screaming again]
Fred Randall:
JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT!
All:
[singing] He's got the whole world in his hands!
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